I Dare You To Move
Unwind. When the world awaits no longer is unheartened.
Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before
Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself
Lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before
The world awaits your calling, the people await you. It's time to lift yourself up, strip the pain and animosity.
Welcome to existence.
3 More Days.
I'm hoping I can work out this blog after the exams. Oh well, it's going to be a busy day tomorrow and I'm going to get an earful for not doing my math tuition work again. I handed in my DnT project today and Mr Phoon was asking me to relax because I was crunching up infront of him (how can I calm down when he had brutally scolded me twice last year?)...I realised he's changed. I bet he never even bothered blabbering about Life and it's marvellous facts in previous years...it's possibly because he was stressed with the divorce and all that.
Mr Goh showed us some really gorgeous DnT artefacts... it's like walking into some gadget shop.. (I would've paid a good 100 for that chromed gun) but they were all untouchable and divine. Srijit one had flowers on it (wth?) and it was terribly femenine... Darrell and I laughed our heads off at it; basically Darrell hitches off with my friends so he doesn't have a problem with contradictions with any of them.
Sin Teck became my younger sis today after Hanif telling how we look so alike (he said I should be the younger bro but hey... I'm those short big bros cause I looked more mature than teck) and Colin agreed that 'Mei Mei' sounds better than 'Di Di'...so I went on with it..but at least it cuts his flirtatious ways.
Ryan is under this bubblegum saga and he was waggling how his sis ate 10 packs of it and so on and so on... he blew this huge one and signalled me to see it... but I saw it burst and sag... the way the bubble-blown gum sagged was gruesome... like some grey dying fish. We're both puzzled; how come so many people like Marissa in O.C??
YK was also filming the emotions video finally...he was taking the videocam and filming loads of people. I was so drained out that when he asked me to probe people to make certain emotions I was like stunned...the most I could do was make Miss Chua laugh (SEVERAL times in fact..she's in a good mood with a huge chubby hamster). We went around the school, took some unknown sec ones that were really polite (thank god ppl like them still exist!), Warren Goh (cannot act one.. only shun away from cam), Hanif, Miss Chua, Miss Wendy Tan (who told privately I should take Miss Dora Lee if I wanted sad, angry or ugly expressions LOL! My sentiments exactly :D)...and we're continuing the project next week.
Timothy was talking about how some people in 3S2 suspecting Ritesh was not a full-bred Brahmin (like anyone bothers about the caste system in Singapore??). Ritesh is really gross, ate the nasi briyani and laughed with mouth open and we all could see those half-chomped up orange rice.
Okay, done my reporting... completely exhausted and I need to butt out. Later.
Four Days Left.
It's not having what you want.
It's wanting what you've got.
Well, here I am today; hadn't even finished learning three definitions of the chinese test chapters, sore and tired. It's surprising I felt like blogging after like loads of art...(which finally was ALL over today) I handed in my artwork titled 'Remenice' even though it looks nowhere near that.. I bet Shan Hui is going to beat me this round.. I was simply (for the first time) no interested in what I painted. Maybe next year, I wouldn't follow Miss Chua's idea so quickly.
Well, the above phrase you see is adapted from Sheryl Crow's 'Soak Up The Sun'. I've been propoganda-ing it to the people sitting around me... It's a meaningful phrase, I came by it through some christian site. Theoretically, it makes alot of sense, I've been so persistent in making my 'moved-on world' to someone that I forgot the true essence of it all. When it all boils down, I'm still tredding where I stood a few months back. But I gave it all up, and I could grab on to something more worthwhile to do. Next year, I'm going to sign up for volunteering; at least I'm finally doing with my life I've always wanted to :].
I feel that our class, is one of the most united. At least most of us are friends with each other, and I love the way things go out. Hope none of us is going to 4n4 next year, because everyone plays a part. It's not good to cling on only one friend for aid, because who knows - once you've become too independant, your world falls short. I know, because that's what exactly happened before. Sin Teck and Ernest were like comparing how many friends they had on Friendster, and I chided them playfully that it's the quality of friends that matter.
I'm still contented with this busy, hectic life - unable to go home straight four times a school week, managing a few deadlines at once, and still being happy about it. I'm not flaunting or anything... I'm as clueless to life as anyone else, I just try harder to understand it. :)
Who Are You?
1. Using band names, spell out your name.
That is mighty tacky.
2. Have you ever had a song written about you?
Oh no, I’m not that fortunate…but I’ve got some constraints about anyone ever writing me one. :P I write songs about myself... (like real.. never got them on score paper)
3. What song makes you cry?
None so far… maybe The Reason by Hoobastank when I first heard it. Reminded me of another TV show I saw… I have no real-life experience on super sad stuff. :’(
4. What song makes you happy / laugh?
Atomic Kitten – Right Now 2004 (SO COME ON BABY DO IT TO ME GOOD NOW….) and of course Happy Tree Friends :D (me am no sadist… but it’s damn hilarious)
Oh by the way...
"Hi! My name is Tina, in the next 30 seconds I will show you how to earn your college degree withoutever stepping foot in a classroom."
Does that count?
5. What do you like to listen to before bed?
Mandy Moore – It’s Gonna Be Love
Michelle Branch – Goodbye To You
Appearance:
Height: 1.60+ (I think.. I’m that shorty. *pouts lips*)
Hair Colour: black
Skin Colour: pale-ish tan
Figure: I'm fat... I'm dieting with no avail (how come the weighing scale always show 64, 65 or 66 kg no matter what I eat and don't eat ar?)
Eye Colour: black (I’ve still yet to try colour contacts you know..my dream)
Piercings: gross.
Tattoos: even worse. Untouched skin rox.
Right Now:
What colour pants are you wearing?: LOL a green checked boxers
What song are you listening to?: sarah mclachlan - fallen
What taste is in your mouth?: morning salivary feel (hadn’t eaten)
What's the weather like?: hot and sunny…(it’s ALWAYS hot and sunny..)
How are you?: crushed up by art deadline..so its pretty bad.
Do You:
Get motion sickness?: no (on the lift… once.. if that’s what you count.)
Have a bad habit?: biting nails when I’m nervous or thinking (I mean HOW in the world can you drop that habit?? I need help with that..)
Get along with your parents?: fine…(dad cooked chilli crab *licks*)
School:
What do you think of school?: A place to make all sorts of enemies and friends.. huge community that needs a total karma shift.
Have friends there?: People who don't have friends in school are..in fact quite literally.. non-existent.
Favourites:
TV Show: Charmed (I watched everything from top to bottom and I’m still not demonized *grins*)
Magazine: GQ (8 days is some stupid magazine where the editorial board keep scrutinizing normal people.)
Soda: Vanilla Coke (best taste in da world)
Thing to do on the weekend: ART lor.
Have You:
Broken the law: I did litter once.
Ran away from home: had that thought but oh.. it’s all over :)
Snuck out of the house: nope (I have valid excuses to do that all the time XD)
Made a prank phone call: when I was a kid... called the police thousands of times :P
Used your parents' credit card: that’s if I find it in the first place..
Skipped school before: NEVER intentionally (see? I’m such a goody..:D)
Fell asleep in the shower/bath: never, though it sounds really really nice :D
Been in a school play: had been a stage-rat, and a parched villager.
Let a friend cry on your shoulder: well, if they want to I’m here to offer.
Ever had a major regret: now and then, but if you don’t make mistakes you don’t learn from them… na-ah..
Love:
Girlfriend/Boyfriend: hahaha no.
Children: some only (my little brother is a whore)
Been in love?: yes
Had a hard time getting over someone: I forgot how it felt.
Been hurt?: I got over it.
Your greatest regret?: gosh that might be not asking girls for their numbers… I’m bashful okay?
Random:
Do you have a job: *points at wrist* I’m under-aged.
If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?: maroon/white
What makes you happy?: Knowing the truth and being helpful to anyone.
Who makes you the happiest?: God; created me with no strings attached
What's the next CD you're gonna get?: Ryan Cabrera – ‘Forgot-the-album-title’
Who do you consider good friends?: people who care and don’t mind me being that awful bitch sometimes.
When / What was the last:
Time you cried?: few weeks back when I saw the president’s star charity commercial (too touching la..I mean those disabled people.. really sad.)
You got a real letter?: we don’t worry over adult stuff hehe >:D
You got email: Daniel from the US? Said he’s working on another collab (art)
TV program you watched: Gosh it’s still morning I don’t want my brain fried… I watched last night some Chinese drama flick.
Movie you saw at the theatre: Anacondas (sucks..sucks sucks sucks don’t watch it.)
Your thoughts on:
Abortion: people who do it are really really cruel…see la, who ask you to do pre-marital sex?
Teenage smoking: Let’s just say if I saw my classmate doing it, I’d slap him in the face.
George Bush: Don’t worry man, I’m still neutral towards you. :)
On The Way Down
"On the way down
I saw you, and you saved me from myself
And I won't forget the way you loved me
And on the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held on to you."
I didn't take notice of that song even though that Malay guy sang it for Saints Idol. Right now, I guess it's one of the songs I'm thinking throughout the day, other than 'Right Now' (which I made Seth irritated with and Ryan obessesed about) by Atomic Kitten and 'So Yesterday' by Hilary Duff (that tune hit be back after Ryan sang it).
Anyway I've been very exhausted these days, very tiring. So I can;t even think about the theme optimism.. optimism.. like what YK said, is still a permanent issue for me, but I can't express it now. I'm content, if that's what you call optimism.
It's nearing the exams and I'll be taking longer breaks in between. Okay, so goodnight.
The Yellow Ribbon
It's great, weforgive.org has finally created the forums. It's a huge success (I mean now, it's a gradual achievement anyway). Well, iwas hoping to get into the force behind this organisation but I doubt YK would help me get in.. it's been a good few weeks since I asked him.
Anyway I found out another community project in Singapore; the Yellow Ribbon Project. From the old song 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around the Old Oak Tree':
"I'm really still in prison and my love, she holds the key, a simple yellow ribbon's what I need to set me free..."
It has dictacted the many ex-convicts that want to reach out and wish the society forgive their mistakes and wrong-doings in the past. Surely, it doesn't mean once you've been in jail you're a bad guy. How many men and women had understood the meaning of life and seek for a second chance.
Are you willing to?
For many of us it's just a neutral thing, we don't know to help or not. But by doing so - every single bit - we let these people in Singapore know that we hold nothing against them. Who knows, companies might begin to support this campaign and being 'once in jail' becomes nothing on job application forms.
Help these people, buy a yellow ribbon, help unlock their second prison.
http://www.yellowribbon.org.sg/
Load It Up
It feels really good when you spend money with no obligations.
I know, I only spent like 30 bucks out last night but I wasn't restricted in thinking about getting enough cash for the digital camera. Cause I'll let it come slowly, maybe next year then I'll think of getting it.
Marco had this really neat mp3 player that shows the lyrics, records, saves pictures, opens text files.. it's almost like a portable-everything. So I bought this CD called 'Load it up with Music' (it was neon orange, pathetically tacky la) cause it has some of the cool tracks around... maroon 5, alicia keys, britney, sarah mclachlan and everything else. Very neat compilation.
I don't know about Stella's album, maybe I'll save again and buy when school reopens. Right now, I'm just enjoying the CD. Actually I have loads of CDs that I didn't hear thoroughly before I skipped into another one. Like I hadn't done finishing 'Songs about Jane', 'Wow Worship' and many others la. I usually repeat CDs until I remember the lyrics from back to front.
We went to Cineleisure and Tak Lung popped by, they (his family) just came back from Indonesia and all that. And they were going to see Anacondas.. we didn't because the show was at 9.10 pm and it'll hell late after it. So we scooted into E Zone and went crazy over House of the Dead (Can you believe it they shot the price up to 1.50 per credit!) and Gar Meng cursed loads of time.. it was so loud lor, those westerners waiting for us (to get ourselves killed in game) outside must've been so taken aback by our teen-society.
Tomorrow's school, dread it. But of course I've gotta do some packing.
Stop, Drop and Roll
Korea is a pain.
Ok, it's not that the country is totally squashed (don't get me wrong) but I got some tagline about it. I didn't even do much there...we just went around watching and sight-seeing almost every single corner in Sokcho before heading to Seoul.
There were some really nice people in and out, here and there.. like that canadian guy who helped us order kimchi rice or something like that. Anyway I wouldn't had enjoyed it because it's so nasty.
13 going 30 is an awesome film, it has poise (I mean literally as well..in the movie of course) it has stamina and it's super touching. I watched the movie like twice on the plane and hopes it comes out soon. It teaches people loads of things... but the most rewarding is the fact that Jennifer Garner whimed pass time to realise she made alot of mistakes in life, and how she tries to correct them.
That's what I guess made me move on, I was over the past unresolved issues by the time I was back in the airport, at a good 1 am, on a midnight cab that plays tacky chinese music. Yeap, I read the comments on the past post, and now it means really little; I'm tired, really..just forget what I said.. I'm admitting to fate and I just totally, plainly give-up-on-you.
What's passed doesn't matter anymore, right now, I guess I have better things to do. When Jenna Rink(J.Garner) fell on the unexpected world of adult life, she tried to change everything she did, her wrong-doings, her mistakes and she tried to make a difference to others. When she told an office-full of co-workers to remember the things that used to be good in life, I suddenly remembered the caption I always lived by but forgot.
Life's value only matters on how many people you've changed, how much you had given and how you had lived.
Very exhausted now, there's alot alot alot to be done now that I'm back. Later.
Last Time.
*clicks and plays Michelle Branch's Goodbye To You*
In a few hours time, I'd be on a plane, heading to the suburbs of Incehon, Korea. I've certainly blew the whole event up, I just have this feeling like I'm leaving for a very long time.
Maybe no one will remember me, but this year, it seems harder to leave everything behind and push forward to some unknown land. It's been a crazy, tiring year, but everything works out better than the last, and for once it feels good to think back on all the fun time in sec 3. I've neevr enjoyed myself as much, but it's time to calm down from all the excitement and frenzy and be a little more matured on what people think I never try to face. Hey, let's not talk about myself anymore... I know how much people hate reading blogs that went with 'I's all the way.
It's weird, to think you're about to enter the airport's departure gates, the several imprinted-faces-and-words writing 'farewell' banners in so many languages cascading above your head, and you turn back and really say a hefty 'farewell' (this time in English) to your homeland (you soil..hehe), leaving it for 10 days. I'm definitely not someone whose never left the country, been to places and seen many, many different traditions that cross and intervene each other, but this year it just somehow feels different.
Even though everything seems fine, I still have one more issue to settle. I thought maybe I'd write something about someone finally. I don't want to leave everything in a mess while I'm away.
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To You-Know-Who-You-Are,
Everyone now thinks I hate you (you know who you are) and I treat you like a blood-boiled-red enemy, but actually I've never told anyone; I've never minded and never took account of your actions. Of course sometimes in the past you get really weird, but it's comical, and I knew the stress you faced. It was okay, I mean who mines when someone gets weird because they have too many things on their minds?
How long has it been the incident? A few months? I've actually forgiven you about it, it didn't matter anyway. I know you're someone who most probably won't bend over your pride and apologise to me, so I guess it's better we leave it this way. I never, ever hated you. Maybe it's me being stupid and hoping you'd eventually take back what you did.. I know you knew I'm a totally different person off-school, and I know how it feels to be afraid, afraid of losing.. of apologizing to someone you never really cared for.
If you had directed your msn nick to me, I'm telling you this - I was waiting. I won't say I'm petty, and I never ever hated you to the core. Actually, both of us are people who tend to go over and over problems to find solutions am I not right? I was waiting for you to take the first step, but as I leave, I realise maybe you never will. Time is indeed running out, as the days pass I feel less and less hope for you to even pass the own barrier you've set yourself. Maybe it's been fate, but when you really leave for aus, I'd be there to see you off.
Well, I'm going.. the best of luck with your studies and everything else.
SY
P.S - All You Wanted was a really nice song!
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