Clowns Cry Too.
Edited**
I guess, I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill ain't I? There's much more to life then everything now. Mdm Phua was also asking me to consider poly today... she said it might be of a better choice, and that means I have a better advantage at University etc. I guess I'm hugging on the JC idea because like most others, I don't want the end normal school-uniformed life. Deprived eh? Haha...
Anyway, MP3 player SOMEHOW came back to life today when I was trying it again! Wow! Amazing! Maybe its like a sign for God that it should be a time to take a break and reaarange our life. Since I've messed it up enough already.
Anyway, its time to commit time for God.
Chinese!!
I'm just here to say Chinese is a chore. Seriously, if you've not done enough, the pain of going through chinese just goes WHAM! Into your face. Right now, there's that feeling of exasperation. But I guess I don't wanna let Mrs Khoo down. Besides, how my relatives whine and nag that Mandarin is the authencity of Chinese culture! Blah blah blah... they're all right. actually.
For now, this is another short post to get by The O Levels Blues. It's in 13 days time. Chinese is in 6 days time. I think I can get a life support system out of panadols now. All my cousins know I'm THE panadol freak. As in, I don't eat it that much, but I tell everyone to eat it when they're getting head cramps. Just some silly snookering.
When you get to my point. There's a mixture of adrenaline rush and depression. I can safely say I'm not prepared. And I know I'm never gonna fall into SAJC. Oh well, there are other routes in life to take. God has his plan for me... He will always be there to point in the right direction.
For now,
MUG
Crap! The Alarm!
The resounding voices that you hear are loud enough to drown me.
To live now is to live in a kind of uncertainty - before the Os - as if you know you've never gonna be fully prepared for it. It's killing yourself inside, if you figure out that somewhere along the way to the exams, you're gonna realise You Do Not Have Enough Time.
Probably when I get out of secondary school, I'll have new friends. And all these old friends would disaparate, we won't be even talking anymore. Of course some would be greatly missed, others nostalgic, but not yearned for any longer. All this will change.
I wished I've done some stuff, but then, all the mistakes I've made, makes who I am today. So everything is worth it.
Bluees
Well, I've not exactly studied much, and I realised how time is passing by really, really fast. One week's gone just like that. And I've not done anything constructive at all. Maybe the exam's stress is just too intimidating it switches you off.
Whatever it is, I pray for God's motivation.
The next post, will be on The Art Escapades. The very very very important thing that ran my life for these previous few months..
Ominous Illumnation
The art deadline is in three days time.
That's a big timebomb ticking over there, waiting for you to watch as it detonates. I just hope I can finish everything and be satisfied with myself by then. That means to go crazy about art for the next two days or so. Every single minute shall be spent on the drawing board.
SO. Before then, I'm risking putting my 'O' levels at stake.
Iven and I were walking back home tonight, and we were talking about our artworks. He actually said he thinks mine was better than his.. but I guess we were on different planes. His work gives the WHAM! effect on the viewers, while mine has tot ake time. And since examiners are always twisting their legs together in impatience and filling bladders, no one's gonna take mine to heart.
Be it so, I still have to yet try scoring for my other subjects. So that means my visibility on this blog would be even more deminished. I'm not coming back unless I try to make a week-to-week record of what's happening around school and life. Other then that, you're gonna see my sorry ass butting out here.
And with that, I leave this place.
God rocks.
Joshua 21
I shall revert back to topic. Recently there's been alot of news flying about teachers reading student blogs and find that they've been used as 'live' criticism. And this is practiced to a large extent.
I don't mean to butt in, but if you are a teacher - be like Daphne Ang. She is perpetually immuned to all the hot spites and filthy remarks casted at her. And why? Because being a female teacher would probably mean you'll be a bitch in school, and students hate bitches.. so you gotta take the stride. *raises hand* I don't like bitches too, and Daphne Ang knows me well enough to avoid me.
So, if you're a teacher. I can say there is nothing you can do about this... maybe you can sue us for slander. But then again, there are so many Daphne Angs out there - I don't think you stand a chance. And you really should grow a very thick skin in the teaching business, I applause the teacher (as mentioned above) who've done so.
God detests the way we critically spend time making each other fall from grace. Backstabbing, gossip, rumours, works best on bringing each other down. I've done that before - I admit - so much so it became the crucial part of existence for me. And I can tell you, it is never better than telling the person straight in the face. Luckily, this habit has receded over the years, and now I try my best not to. Try. That means there's still abit to watch out for. Heh!
Maybe we don't want to feel guilty after scolding a person full frontal, or maybe we don't want to hurt a person - yet we don't like him/her. It is the reversed emotions we would feel on ourselves if we slander a person face to face that makes us backstab.
Teachers, there is no way you would get through your teaching career with a benign record.
And for that, that's why other students like you. It's all balance - karma.
:]