Lips And Bounds
OH CRAP MY SPEEDBALL.
My speedball just rolled down the bed but I'm lazy to go fetch it. So anyway, I'm back. Yay, Hipee. Haha...
It was a fun stayover. Very different from what it was last time. Cause the key fun people like Daniel and Aaron weren't around. But I liked the quietness and the slacking and the lazing-on-the-bed-staring-at-the-ceiling-doing-nothing thing that we did alot. It felt very summer holidays.
We played monopoly and BC, Hoops and Qianger ganged up against Hanif and I so we lost.
We went PS and had Ben and J's which was kindly sponsered by Hooper.
We talked at 3 am in the pool below his condo all the way to 5, about life and the crap things that come with it.
And I was always the one getting bullied. Hahaha..
But it's okay.
I liked it. Cause it was so relaxed. No obligations, no masks, no try-too-hards making jokes and keeping the spirit high. It was like therapy. For once I could run away and breathe from the things in the present. Late the first night he called and I forgot to answer. And maybe I didn't want to. That night just brought everything back, but Hooper made sure I had closure.
We walked back from town to Hoop's place and Hanif and I kept talking and singing and singing and we did rock songs and pop songs and christmas songs. Hahaha.. it was fun trying to sing really loud in an empty street.
You could see the most amazing view from the penthouse. In Jon's room, the sunrise was absolutely detailed. How the dark clouds will roll away and break up to show the bright orange sky beneath, and one side of the city will still be dark and in slumber, and the other side wakes up to another lazy morning. I used to love that when I was younger.
In primary school I would walk through the balcony walkway to get to the lifts at my apartment. 7.20 Am. The skies would always seem to be scattering away to reveal the bright new morning. And I used to think to myself that that's how the sunrise is. And I would walk really really slowly to enjoy it.
So that morning, BC, Hooper and I leant across the ledge and stared at the brightening day. Pointing out to different clouds and different incoming planes. We said how the sunrise looks just like the sunset. But how the sunrise always seem so much more tranquil.
And we finally slept after that.
When everyone woke up we slacked and watched Justice League and MTV all day and went for a dip later in the afternoon. Hanif left for dinner and BC left after dinner. And then we went to Kino and sat down by the aisle and read graphic books, and then we finally went home.
It's funny why it's like that in one place, and another in another place. Even after 3 years, some things don't change. Some friendships remain the same. And some become stronger. And it's great to know that. :]
I Must've Done
Relient K's new album Five Score And Seven Years Ago is coming out next year!
And thing is Matt's written songs about his love with his girlfriend and I'm thrilled cause it sounds pretty amazing haha.
Album art's not out yet. But but but watch this space!
Take a listen at their new single here.
http://www.myspace.com/relientk
:]
From Glory, To Glory.
This life. Is all for You.
If You wanted all this to happen. I accept it.
I asked You why I'm built so differently.
"Why can't I be normal? Then I won't feel all this pain."
I won't be so affected by it then.
And I can live my life like how it used to be.
How it used to be numbed feelings and unexpressed thoughts.
Right now, the facades are coming down one by one.
The numbness from all these years is fading.
I will have to fight the pain that comes.
And I'm afraid what I find at the end Lord.
What's left of me.
What do I have left that I still recognise as me.
And You smiled and said you will be there.
So here I go. I won't run away from this.
I will show You that I love You more than this.
I take it all in. I take it all in.
Alone, willing to battle this by myself.
The road ahead is uncertain. I've let my life slip through my hands so many times.
I will try, I will try to make this right.
From glory.
To glory.
Your son.
Shan Yu.
Ready And Waiting To Fall
If I was more honest, I know things will run out of control.
If I told you all the truth, it would only ruin the things that are good now. Then again, it might fall on deaf ears and go out unnoticed.
I rather keep all these things within myself.
Life is just so much more complicated now rather than it was in secondary school.
M-Pact
STARSTRUCK is the word!
Just went for the most amazing thing I've heard in my life. Must thank Tab for an experience man. hahaha...
M-pact is such an inspiration. I think I've heard so many acapella groups but this one is the best best best best best best. AHHHHH hahhahaha. I feel like I've just met Relient K or something AhhhhHHHH... Lisa and I were dancing after they signed our CDs. Hahaha..
Great singing impacts me TONS. It's the greatest thing everr... I heard too much indie and stuff these days, and the thing is singing in musical bands are usually very slack when it comes to vocals.
And in choir days we used to go for things like these; like acapella stuff and concerts, and we used to get alot of influences from it. And I remember that was the time when I really loved singing. Like you hear all the great singers, with their perfect pitch and their perfect vibratos.. its mesmerizing. It makes me wanna be just like them. Doing what they do and just using their voices to make great music. Its gets to me alot.
But I guess I forgot how it felt after being out of choir and being influenced by other genres of music. These weeks I've been so close to people who play instruments, I forgot what made me love music so much in the first place. I don't know why, but I think most music focus on only one segment of music - either instruments or vocals. And personally, the ultimate band would be one that explores vocal technique/harmony and also musical instruments. Haha, I've not come across something like that yet.
The voice. Such a small part of our bodies, but yet so powerful and so versatile. More real and more beautiful than what any instrument can play. There's no limit for it. We can just go on and on finding new ways and new patterns and new styles with it. No stopping what we can find out of it.
I'm just envious of their vocal range. It's huuuge. And I think why they get to me so much is cause their all male singers. With the most amazing voices.
Singing might seem like no big deal, but it is for me.
But to be a great singer takes discipline. And alot of practice. And I hear these guys there, doing it so naturally on stage. They have absolutely no stage-fear. It all comes so so naturally. WOW. Just amazing. Just wow. All of them had a specific distinct part of them that's really cool. And without britt, the whole band would lose all it's spunk man. It's cause of Britt (haha the michael-jackson-ish guy) that makes the concert so enjoyable.
Okay I think there's this guy whose voice is the most crazy thing I've heard. Can't remember his name. I think he's Trist or Marco or some other name which I forgot. haha...
Haha it gets to me alot alot. I feel like talking about them all night.
Haha I'm such a fanatic.
GOSH THEIR CD IS SO AWESOME.
Hahaha...
Bristles From A Horse
Saw some of Terry Bisch's work online the other day, quite an inspiring artist. He has this talent for painting beastiary that I really like. Soft brush techniques, overlayed with alot of watered-down layers. It's a style that's quite cool. Haha..
Anyway, some of his works are up in the Opera Gallery right now. ON SALE. Haha but when I mean on sale I mean like at least $100, 000 +++ cause big-time artworks are never around affordable.
The stress from talentquest is starting to bug me.. And I can safely say Pepper will be one of the finalists. As for me, I guess I don't want to have too much expectation. I'm just glad it was an experience.
I, Hate To See You Cry
Some nights, I spend all my time thinking.
The lives we live before we finally live our own.
The dreams we had, and eventually threw away as we realise there's a thing called reality.
At the end of the day, behind the many many complicated things that mount up and ruin perfect days and great times, is the heart of life. And the heart of life is good.
A Little Less Stress
Luqman was so funny today. He contradicted himself so many times. He told Hanif he smoked before and then we were talking about weak immunities just now and he said he'll never smoke man. Then hanif was like,
"Wait, didn't you tell me you smoked before?"
*Luqman flashes oops I lied face*
Sometimes I really don't get him. He acts really strong and very confident and great infront of us, it does piss me off sometimes. I feel like just shouting at him cause he's always saying things that are over the top. ARGH LUQMAN! But I can't and I won't cause I don't know him well enough to do that.
And tolerance. Tolerance is really important. I can just go about hating his ego but it won't do anyone good. So I guess it all boils down to how much I can take it. Even though he can reeeallly get on my nerves, but he knows alot of things too. Things and news that I've never heard of so yea, he has more experience. And that's a good thing.
Hanif, hooper, jeremy and I (this is in perfect english ah hooper..) went to watch casino royale today. We took an hour long bus to Vivo City and then realise the cinemas were closed for some exclusive event. *Exclusive hur hur hur* so we MRTed to Cineleisure instead. That was pretty much wasted time la. Hahahaha I kept teasing Jeremy and everything haha. But Jeremy knows its cause I don't have much people to do that in poly, and he doesn't mind haha, he actually said that.. HE'S THE MAN.
Casino royale was awesome. Okay Daniel Craig has this weird look that's kinda cool too, and then Eva Green is just so hot man. She looks edgy with her black eye make up and she looks super pure and angelic without it. Hahaha.. And there was one part, he jumped from one sky-high crane to another just to catch this guy, super impossible, but it was great. I've never watched a Bond movie in cinema before, but this one was exceptional. It's like Bond has always been cast as a cool, suave, gadget-gizmo guy... like Batman. Then now they've made him superhero, smart, strong and with tomb raider's stamina, like a Superman.
And I think everyone would prefer watching Superman than Batman in battle.
Thing is, they played this long poker game near the middle part of the movie, and Jeremy was the only one who got really psyched cause he knew how to play the game. We didn't. But he did explain abit of poker to me so I understood and got psyched eventually. Haha
Somedays I hardly see them anymore I forget how it was like when we were in a class back then, and the fights and laughter we had. Now, there's no more such thing, cause in poly, we're becoming adults. And adults don't dish out the dirt on people straight in their faces. It's the hidden-feelings, backstabbing game. And life's getting complicated as we grow up.
Okay okay, me and my lame rants...
Dialogues, Crazy Scripts, Action!
There's so much dark stuff on TV these days.
Like I was watching Nip/Tuck and one of the guy's son's smoking pot and is in love with a woman that wants become a transexual and he wonders if he's homo and his mom is with another man and his grandmother likes smoking his pot too.
Okay. Yeah. That's really messed up and everything.
I wonder why TV producers actually allow scripts like that to happen.
We need more drama I guess. But then again, things like that are so unbelievable but we still get hooked to it. Like CSI, day in day out are murdered people and evil plots and crying family members but we're all into it anyway. It's the engaging plots that churns the american tv.
I love grey's anatomy. But then there was the guy with the bomb in his body, and then a wild shooting at the end of the season, and then Izzie's boyfriend died. And I thought, why so much drama so fast? It'd be cool if they slow down abit and went at an O.C. pace for a change. Hahaha but not as slow as Days Of Our Lives of course hahaha.. I think grey's will still be really awesome even if they minused out the bombed guy and stuff.
If you pull out too much in one season, then you will have to think of something bigger the next season. And by then it could go outrageously unbelievable and no one would be interested anymore. Well that's what I presume.. even though I don't do american tv social studies.
Oh oh, a good example is Lost. Haha.. who in actually keeps up with that show? Except Jeremy I heard.
It's 4.16 am. I'm really becoming a vamp man... I should sleep. Haha.. night.
Hiding At The Bottom Of Your Swimming Pool
Ok, I've not posted something normal for some time.
School's really slack now. All we do at home is our calender. And Dilys' is so wayy awesome. Her Idea is really really good. It only gives the rest of us pressure. Haha.. Like I can't go about doing mine cause I never know how to make Illustrator work right for me, that means I have to wait till tomorrow to go consult Yong Kin.
And I have to thank God for the friends in class who spice things up. Even though you all have your boyfriends and girlfriends to look for after school so we can't hang out. Yeah, relationships really take up alot of time for them. Haha.
And my mum is forever subtly commenting that she wants me to get a girlfriend.
"So, do you look out for girls in your school?"
"That girl I saw the other day, what's her name? She's not bad ah,"
etc. etc.
I'm sticking to my After-NS Policy thank you very much :D
So many girls that have came and gone and if I've only learn one thing from this it's that relationships are much more complicated than they look. It takes up alot of time, and it sacrifices alot of time to do other stuff. Besides, who would possibly like me right right right. If I turn 30 and I'm still single and desperate I'll consider speed-dating, not to worry. Ahahaha.
---
I'm working out things myself. Teaching myself disregard, and pulling the cranks and moving forward again.
Things that has happened these few weeks all points to one thing - Don't Give up. I guess I'm a person who'd like to see results, sometimes wishing it would all work out too fast. I know how I'm like - impatient and quick to jumping to conclusions. So I'm slowing down, and letting Him take me to where He wants me to go in my life, instead of me trying to work it out myself.
I would be kidding myself if I said I don't have problems.
But it's not about swimming around in this rut, and not doing anything about it.
I promise I'll try to find the meaning and good out of stuff I didn't want to face.
Maybe I'll find a bit of that purpose God wants me to do.
And the void that's between me and most other people.
Chris is trying, and he's working hard to bring this worhip min together. Yeah, I'm abit apprehensive about it, because I'm me and I don't trust situations that have staled and suddenly a revival comes along. But God has a way with us that we can't tell and can't see. And He has arranged Chris at a very good timing. So thank you God, and thanks Chris.
Just thought to mention that. :]
James Chapter 1 has taught me alot.
Aircrafts and Aeroplanes
So God. Here I am. Back to You. Please take me, don't leave me to fend for myself.
I've been a bad son, a bad friend, a bad child of yours. I've given you empty promises and empty words, placed you far away from me. So that I don't have to be near you, so that I don't have to face You. So that I don't have to tell you how much I screwed up the life You gave me.
Have your way with me. Broken, torn, and weary of this world.
Let's make this work. I kneel down infront of You, you are the only one who knows who I am. And right now, the only one I can trust. You get me. Every single bit of me. I'm sorry for everything Lord. I'm sorry that we've became like this. I'm sorry that I'm just so stubborn to think I'm strong. When I'm not.
You say we need to talk. Let's do just that.
Stop This Train
Where does confidence come. When you look someone you don't really know in the eye and smile?
Porcelain Who?
I'm glad the talentquest tickets are all out.
It's not something I'm looking forward to though. I'd rather get it over and done with as soon as possible. Loads of stuff come along with competitions like these. Like nart suddenly asked me what song I was gonna sing and I felt like it was such a cheesy song I shouldn't say it. Hahaha. Anyway if you don't know already, I won't tell you ;D ;D
JAYNE IS NOW CALLED FROG PRINCESS HAHA.
Haha we're all so crazy about that hahaahha.
Until We All Just Get Along
I've always been skeptical about photography.
There's so many pictures taken throughout human history. Tons and tons of them. Enough for us to look through for a few hundred lifetimes. Yet is it really art? Can something that only just captures one frame in split seconds, can be put alongside great paintings and scultures that took months or years to complete?
But of course I do take photography even though I give my no-nonsense rants. Haha.
What I'm about to show you, changed my life of what photography means.
The man behind these works of art is Gregory Colbert. They aren't photoshopped, manipulated, or digitally positioned in anyway. These pictures are part of his project Ashes and Snow, which took him 10 years and 25 expeditions to collect together..
How abbbsolutely spectacular. The purity of nature and us.
Why doesn't stuff like this ever come to Singapore? Why why why....
In Repair
I went town today with the excuse of buying photo paper. But I didn't in the end.
Walked about by myself. I saw Roy. I read Jon McGregor at Borders (and didn't buy it cause it was waaayy overbudget haha), and went to borrow something from him at the orchard library instead. I had a dilemma whether to buy the Awake CD or watch a movie, so I did neither in the end. But I still do wanna watch a movie by myself one of these days.
Sat by a window in the library and started reading and writing alot of stuff. Watching the early evening darken into night.
I needed to sort things out with myself. And it seems to be coming out alright. Even though I don't have anyone to count on at the end of the day, I'm glad I have my friends that I don't have to be another person with. You all know who you are. :]
Maybe there will always be unresolved issues.
But I'm going to try to look at the brighter side of things. It's too early to see where this will lead, and I won't know if I will be happy. But I will try.
I'm not together but I'm getting there. I'm in repair.
Faith.
Biennale pictures are finally up :]
Where Vice and Virtue met.
So what happened to me?
In these 4 years. What happened.
Give It All Away.
Something's happening to me that I cannot explain. I cannot understand why.
So tell me what's wrong with me. What on earth am I going through that I can't explain myself. Am I not meant for this? But why does it seem like this isn't my life lead? For some reason I feel like I'm just a random soul who filled in the shoes of this person typing now.
Lonliness I've never felt.
Pain I've never realised.
Hurt I've never been in.
I can't say how much I've been brought down by life. And now this time, I cannot get up anymore.
I'm so afraid if I open up once again, I would feel rejection. Upon the upteenth time. And I cannot face that once more. I'm not strong enough for that. I'm no longer strong and happy and jumpy enough. I'm on the brink of giving up.
Maybe this is what Clarence says, "Don't trust anyone fully, or else you'll get yourself hurt for no reason,"
Father help me please.
Night Darkens.
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When you're heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you
Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one is to be heard
You are loved
Somewhere Along In The Bitterness
I appreciate the weather before a storm. When sh and I were kayaking far far away from shore, thunder began to roar, and we saw through the horizon over the sea. The huge black clouds rolling in, the smaller clouds wisping by, and this tornado-forming cloud gathering over the coastline. Lightning streaks the sky, and the sea raged with churning waters. We paddled our way back in this weather like in the movies. My arms ached as we tried to battle against the wind.
In that instance, was God's majesty.
And we stood in the shelter freezing while the rain just poured heavily. But I miss having a deluge like this. So I stood there and lay still.
Why, do I feel like that boy in the dark corner of a beautiful cell when I have practically all I can have?
"Wooosh, woosh,"
It suddenly dawns on me he's gone.
I remember when some stuff happened at home when I was P5, and I had to stay at my grandma's for a few weeks, he would wake me up at 5. In the cold dark night he would make a cup of warm milk for me, and then we'll saddle onto his old old bicycle and ride all the way from toa payoh to potong pasir to bring me to school. I would sit behind him in that small backseat and hum hymns I learnt from school.
I remember how he use to grab me by the feet and hoist me up in the air and make me fly like an aeroplane. And he would make 'swooshing' sounds and I would laugh madly.
I remember sitting in his SBS bus once. And he allowed me to sit at the old plastic box opposite the driver's seat. And he'll talk and laugh everytime I say something stupid. And all the passengers will be staring at us, but we wouldn't care and we didn't mind.
I remember how he came over my house some mornings on that old bicycle, and he would buy breakfast for us before we even wake up. And I would invite him upstairs and he'll take his handy dandy plastic-mould to patch our cracking kitchen ceilings.
I miss my grandpa.
And that afternoon, when I saw him in his coffin, lying alseep. I just choked with so much tears. I wouldn't stop crying. And I touched his cold pale face and wished it didn't have to be this way. I wished for the world he wasn't gone, so that I could speak to him and talk and laugh like how we used to. Before I became an angry teenager and how my change made us silent to each other.
For the first time since that day, I finally mourn for him. How insensitive I've become. To only realise it now how much he means to me.
Goodbye grandpa. Thank you for a love I will never forget.
The Universe and You.
In life, there's only those few people you can count on.
Those few people who will stay up with you to hear you out.
Those few people who will be there to get your back.
Come and go, it will always be the same few people. The people who will be your bestman and bridesmaids on the big day, the ones that you bring along to an occasional musical, and the same ones who told you things you hated and loved most to hear.
"I dont want to say the problem," can end a friendship. Just one phrase like that, can close all doors to a 3 year friendship. I try to tell myself it's not my freaking business anymore, that the friendship is gone. But someone told me it still is.. and I look up to what advice he gives, so I won't give up.
A little smile can brighten a person's day.
A simple wave can lighten the tension.
Sometimes life can be so simple. How everything always seem to come down to a thought, act of impulse, a motivation. Things end to sprout new ones, and even the new ones will eventually grow old and make way for other things. We rotate, we move on, we change.
We love, we hate, we feel alien. We take our chances, we are just the same.
Stars burn bright, making holes in the night.
And we watch the cars until they're out of sight.
Like silent children watching a playful show.
We lay here and decide to die or grow.
Beanarlie
Vivien told me today that putting nail polish made her stop chewing her nails. And then I look at my bad bad nails (all in-grown and everything) and I told her I would put nail polish too. Then we figured it will look gayer than I expect haha.
So we decided black nail polish would look the least gruesome. No one bites black fingernails. Hahaha..
This week has gone by very badly. But there were people who helped and supported. And the comfort of that is already enough.
So why do we care for someone we don't know? Is it really out of obligation more than love? Sometimes I think about that. And why people are there for me and why I'm there for them even when we're not close. Is it because that person knows me, I have a wide-universal-human-nature view of helping? And they also feel the same way? Then again, what is love and what is obligation. Just things that make up who we are, and swim around in our neverending depth of a human soul.
--
Today the class went to the Tanglin Camp Biennale and it was awesome. Pictures will be up soon.. haha. I'm going back there again somewhere during this week to reshoot some stuff.
Oh, and the blog's going on revamp. I was reading some of my old stuff and I was like ,"WHO IS THIS GUY??" haha so from now on it's on revamp. What kind of revamp I'm not very sure... teheh..
As for now, THIS:
Truly a work of art from Esther (it's howai's birthday card) and I'm enthralled by the detail and how meticulous it looks. Haha.
-
Just let everything stop turning. I can't catch up.
Don't leave me behind to wrestle with this world. I won't be able to take it.
If only everything came down to a heave of a sigh.
Dear Shan yu,
You are a funny guy, an excellent conversation opener, but I don't know you.
I see you smile and laugh and make merry and tease people, but I don't know who you are.
I look at you in the mirror and see someone so different from me. But I guess it's the way things are. I wish I was really like you; cheerful and happy. But I'm not. There's a hole I cannot fill in my heart.
It drinks away all my energy, my energy to try make an effort. There's something in my life that's not right. It's not right I feel so cold and so ignorant of things around me. There's something that's blocking me from taking over you. So in turn, you're the guy everyone sees and talk to everyday, and I'm inside you somewhere, wishing I was the one.
At night, I feel like calling someone and talking for hours on end on random things. Laugh about red balloons and turquoise guitars. But no one can do that. At night, I feel like taking long walks down from my house to somewhere obscure with someone, and we'll just walk beside random people we meet, pray for them as we exchange swift glances, and smile at each other.
I'll do the things I want to do. I would sit by the beach and compose worship songs until daybreak. And just sing of His glory.
Right now, people have done things to me that makes me think about my life all over again. I don't know who my real friends are anymore. So many come and go. Life goes on as normal, but I linger behind. I look at people who smile and laugh and I wish I was like that. But no. There's nothing in life that makes me laugh anymore.
But you. You talk and you're insensitive. And you only show the worse of me. You're always just caring about yourself and making a mark in people. I wish I could overtake you.
So this is the real sy. Hidden somewhere under all this stress and brokeness.
I'm not funny, I'm not handsome, I'm not charismatic. I find orange cars damn funky. I don't do silly things and laugh at myself. I like the colour blue, I love monday mornings. My favourite time is before a storm, when the large black clouds roll in and you feel the majesty of God. I can't fold my clothes and I stitch - but very horribly. I like counting stars. I think the golden ratio is such a cool cool thing.
This is me. Behind this other self I have.
And right now. I'm dying inside myself.
The Exoticism
Dilys woke me up at 8-ish today I think. We were s'pose to go shooting with hanif. Woke up, scruffed around (if that's a word), and then finally left the house.
"Why today so rush?"
"Orh, got pictures to take mah,"
"Drink you milk first,"
"Aiya don't want la, no time,"
"DRINK,"
".... My friend is waiting for me, she's a girl"
"Girl ah? Nvm. Sometimes you must also make a girl wait you know,"
"A GIRL... Mum,"
"So you're saying you don't make girls wait,"
"Yes, that's not my style,"
"She can wait. Still, drink your milk,"
So we met Hanif up and he tells us his big encounter with this 1 metre long Black Spitting Cobra. A freaking cobra in Singapore! I thought we're too urbanized to even have exotic animals like that running around. So we slowly walked there - just in case we see one again you know -, and on the grass field, Dilys spotted this BABY black spitting cobra. And Hanif got it erm... aroused... (which I find a funny word to use in this context, but yea hahahaha) and he was taking up close shots of that little thing staggering up and down trying to spit it's ultra-super-hyper venomous poison at Hanif.
And he was taking shots over and over while Dilys and I stood there hoping nothing bad happens. Haha.
Yea that's a cobra over there. Hahaha.
Eventually we left it alone and went to the dark alley to do our songs and I sorta hung around until they got all their pictures taken.
And then the day went on with the usual - class and more class. Culture and expression class is just really amazing - it's philosophical (if you know me, it's very me haha), smart, and engaging. And Ernest uses this array of words I never hear any other lecturer use.. and we see these documentaries all the time about human sociology (dig it, dig it, dig it whoooooo) and the topics are just really cool.
At 7 pm, Pepper, Hanif and I got ready for our talentquest stuff. And the queue was HUGE. It stretched all the way out of our auditorium. It's kinda nerve-wrecking actually.. haha. But we turned out fine. Pepper fretted but she was good. Like her last note was ammaaazing man. I dunno why she finds it horrible. Haiz.. haha.
So now we'll have to wait to see if we get through the auditions and into the finals.
At 7 pm, Pepper, Hanif and I got ready for our talentquest stuff. And the queue was HUGE. It stretched all the way out of our auditorium. It's kinda nerve-wrecking actually.. haha. But we turned out fine.
When I went up my heart was thumping so fast I felt my whole body vibrate. And the judges were sitting on this really far away seats up the auditorium, with the blinding light shining at you. And the whole room was hazy. It was like Akeelah and the Bee man... hahahaha
And then suddenly all the 'psyching myself up' and the "Okay shan yu, you have to add emotion, look like you mean the lyrics of the song," and everything else like that just DIED ON THAT STAGE hahahahaa. My leg started to vibrate like nuts and I was wavering my voice too much. And Summore Pepper was before me, she was like awesome without music so I was kinda freaked out.
So Akeelah (being me) started to sing and I felt all queasy over and I didn't wanna move at all. Haha..
Pepper fretted but she was good. Like her last note was ammaaazing man. I dunno why she finds it horrible. Haiz.. haha. And Hanif came in with his poise and everything. He's like going to his good part when they cut him off... haha so bad man.
Haha she has a rainbow thing below her collarbone. This is our audition waiting area. Haha
Haha and she tries to point at it.
The Beating Hearts Spectrum
Tonnes of things to do by friday.
And it's sad I've not been going for jamming these past 2 weeks. It's just been super busy. And unluckily the auditions for talentquest falls on thursday.
I read Daniel today. Let me talk abit about Daniel. Daniel (the original Daniel. The guy who everyone is calling their sons by) was a very upright man. He didn't like to nullify his practices with God. So the story goes he was in King Nebuchadnezzar's palace. And the king had a dream. But he has no idea what his dream meant, and he wanted someone to explain the dream to him. You know, like philosophize and tell him what everything he saw was about. So he sent for all his royal seers and wise men and all those sort of magicians.
The funny thing about it was that he didn't tell anyone WHAT he dreamt about. So everyone had no clue to even know what his dreams meant. But yet he still demanded it. And that whoever who doesn't know the answer will be executed.. and wise men all over were ordered to be executed.
Then Daniel, came into the scene. And he knew what the dream was. And he told the King:"You, O king, were seeing. And, behold! A great image! That great image, whose brightness was excellent, stood before you. And its form was dreadful. This image's head was of fine gold; his breast and his arms were of silver; his belly and his thighs were of bronze; his legs were of iron; his feet were part of iron and part of clay. You watched until a stone was cut out withou
t hands, which struck the image upon its feet which were of iron and clay, and broke them to pieces. Then the iron, the clay, the bronze, the silver, and the gold were broken to pieces together. And they became like the chaff of the summer threshing floors. And the wind carried them away, so that no place was found for them. And the stone that struck the image became a great mountain and filled the whole earth. This is the dream. And we will tell its meaning before the king. You, O king, are a king of kings. For the God of Heaven has given you a kingdom, power, and strength, and glory. And wherever the sons of men, the beasts of the field, and the birds of the heavens live, He has given them into your hand, and has made you ruler over them all. You are this head of gold. And after you shall arise another kingdom lower than you, and another third kingdom of bronze, which shall rule over all the earth. And the fourth kingdom shall be as strong as iron. Since iron crushes and smashes all things; and as the iron that shatters all these, it will crush and shatter. And as to that which you saw: the feet and toes, part of potters' clay and part of iron; the kingdom shall be divided. But there shall be in it the strength of the iron, because you saw the iron mixed with miry clay. And as the toes of the feet were part of iron and part of clay, so the kingdom shall be partly strong and partly brittle. And as you saw iron mixed with miry clay, they shall mix themselves with the seed of men. But they shall not cling to one another, even as iron is not mixed with clay. And in the days of these kings, the God of Heaven shall set up a kingdom which shall never be destroyed. And the kingdom shall not be left to other peoples, but it shall crush and destroy all these kingdoms, and it shall stand forever. Because you saw that the stone was cut out of the mountain without hands, and that it crushes the iron, the bronze, the clay, the silver, and the gold, the great God has made known to the king what shall occur after this. And the dream is certain, and its meaning is sure."
Daniel 2:24-45
So hang on. What is this dream about? It's this huge statue, with parts made from different stones right? And Daniel interpreted the dream before his time. And he said the final Kingdom is of Gold, and it shall stand forever. God gave him the ability to predict the future. And in the story he had predicted the different empires to come after the King's, like the Babylonian and the Roman empires. But bringing it to our modern day context, it seems like the same thing.
We're living in a time, where our kingdom is made from both clay and iron.
Some strong, some weak, and we're helplessly moving to the extreme sides of the spectrum. Someone once told me, "at the very end, you would have to pick a side," And it's really true. Maybe at the end Daniels will emerge from our generation. Men with faith and loyalty in God. People who would want to see a change in our world, make the final push, before He comes back down on earth.
Haha, off to bed. :]