It Is Time.
An everlasting dream, a plain sunset.
A place where life began, and where it will end. In time, everything else shall fade and be pushed aside.
What is happiness but just a burst of emotion? A tendril of emancipating feelings, that will eventually subside into the stagnant night sky. The boy lies beneath this sky. Looking up at the collective amount of stars, hoping to catch a glimspe of their mangnificence; but they don't show him any, they don't even twinkle. They just stare lifelessly back at him.
"Wake up! Wake up!" whispers the wind in his ears, "Wake up and hear the sound of your youth!" She reminds him. And so often, he would have his hands over his ears, trying to reject it. But today he listens intentively, and accepts the fact that it is time to grow up.
So the metamorphosis begins. As he loses his old self in the depths of time.
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I was listening to the acapodcast the other night (a podcast of acapella music - it's one of my favourites) and they played some music from The Ritcher Scales. They are hilarious, haha the acapella is mediocre, but they have some really crazy lyrics. Like one of them was about spam mail and how this guy got a cambodian wife, nigerian business funds, a better body etc by just following instructions on those emails.
You can check them out on the acapodcast itself. www.acapodcast.com
Anyway I'm going to listen to switchfoot's Oh Gravity! album (yes, yes.. finally I know) and Relient K's new album that LEAKED out already so I can get a sneak preview of it before it comes out this march at a music store near you. haha.. I'll get back with some music reviews, I promise.
Love That Won't Fail.
SY wrote at 10:31 pm
The Return
I figured I like car rides.
I don't get to sit in cars often. Today was an exception because my uncle drove us home from a great awesome meal at a japanese restaurant near novena. And I remember when I was younger, my cousin and I will sit in my other uncle's car, with his wife. And we would sit on opposite ends next to the windows. And just stare outside for hours without talking.
When I grow up, maybe I will get a minivan. And drive myself around at night, to make up for the times I've not been taking this form of transport. And by myself, listening to lush 99.5, I will drive to changi to get a late night snack, drive near to the airport, and watch as the airplanes take off one by one. Like the same flashes of orange, red and white, diminishing into the dark night sky.
Isn't life so simple when you imagine it? But so much more complex when you are actually in it. And I've been blown off guard so many times already, I'm getting so tired of life. Of people. Of the things they can do and they cannot do.
This afternoon at my grandma's. She took out a photo album and showed us Josephine and I when we were younger. Those happier times, the happy smiles and the cute, chubby faces. I was holding her hand because they told me to. And I beamed because they told me to. But I looked happy.
I'm surprised me to see my own beaming face those years back. Staring straight back at me, as if to convince me that what life I'm leading now can never compare to the times back then.
And I sat down to flip through all those photo albums. Of the times when Josephine and I were close, and the whole family were together. When we went for excursions and we had our picnics in sentosa. Eating ham sandwiches, flying kites, taking crazy photos, being so exctied about the moving travellators inside underwater world.
.
.
.
.
I think i will go back to them. Return back to my family, instead of puttng so much commitment outside. They are the only ones now that I can safely say care for me.
I'm no longer sure about the rest.
I will take a step back from church. And just stay far enough, so that the things that happen in it no longer hurt me.
Indifference now. Because there is no use crying myself to sleep every night.
And The Pen Dries.
I think it's funny when people are searching for other people and they land on my blog. Seriously speaking, the fact that this place holds credit to a few years of ups and downs have cost quite some considerable input of secondary school names and I've noticed that people search those names, and find my blog.
A few years of different phases, all recorded down here somewhere in the archives. Is part of a growing person, a growing somebody. Wait. I take back the somebody bit, because I don't think I will be anyone just quite yet.
This place is just becoming something more of a set of dissipated thoughts and ambiguous notions rather than anything specific. Maybe it's because I've grown older, and I just don't see the need to go detailed anymore, or maybe it's the fact now more people I know are reading this. The words that I'm typing right now, could be analyzed and judged by hundreds of thinking minds. Ready to place you into the clutches of stereotype.
So I gave up trying a long time ago.
If you know my livejournal, just go there from now onwards.
More about this, will be there.
Found.
I don't even know what exactly am I crying about.
Stupid, stupid me.
A Very Rare Post. Rarer Than Codestones in Neopets
Whooo... this post is solely for therapy. I've not slept a wink, doing comDI and the semester's major project at the same time. It's not as nice as I want it to be, but I guess I've really put in my best and it doesn't really matter now.. hahaahahaahahahaahaha whooooo...
So two days ago Seth suddenly called me up, and I've not heard from him since we graduated from secondary school. It was a lazy afternoon and I was doing work...And he asked if I wanted to meet up cause he was around the area and we could go for a drink. I went to meet him at the PP macs, and apparently he was in school doing his product for some major project in NYP. Seth has like THE ultimate passion for DnT - the very same subject which I never really liked. And we were just talking about our lives and how it's changed. In church, in friends and stuff.
And yeah, he's like one of the drummers for the two worship teams in FCBC. So yeah, I told him wow, that must be really some talent that he had. And we started talking about annointing and stuff. And how sometimes it's really not about the technical process, and we both really got off talking about how worship should be like and what has been happening in our ministries. And on and on and on we went on, until we talked about having how many kids and wives and stuff. Wait. I don't mean how many wives, I mean how many kids and WHAT KIND of a wife. Yeah, so haha don't suddenly widen your eyes and gasp. Lol
Haha, and I think we talked so much, but of course I respect him so I shan't blog about stuff we said too much. But yeah, he is just one amaazing kid.
And wei min came at night to ask me to draw some stuff for him. And seriously I really didn't have the time, and I told God. Okay God, I'll still help Him cause I made a promise. So I dropped my work and really just tried talking to his work. And thank goodness it was just drawing something like a nail clipper without rendering.
It's just been such a crazy crazy week. With two nights at almost breakdown points cause of the stuff I have to finish. At least 20 different segments I have to complete: write-ups, designs, powerpoint slides, sketches, buying of stuff etc. And I seriously didn't felt like this was too much, for any normal person. SO if you're reading this and you're wondering where to go DON'T COME VSC BECAUSE IT WILL MAKE A ZOMBIE OUT OF YOU (except for tab hahaha) And it will make you grow really fat. Cause you won't have time for a sports cca (unless you're the kinds who care more about cca than your work), and it's too tiring, and yet you still have to stay up and do all-nighters and you don't eat a thing the whole day but your body just grows fatter and fatter.
And today is the last day! I've not slept at all but the idea of this being the last day, and how God has just been blessing my life throughout this week is enough to keep me up.. Alalalalalalahahahahahahahwhwowwowoooo
I remember the other time I couldn't sleep because I had to finish this A1 sized pencil sketch.
And then I bought two cans of nescafe (one mocha, one latte)
I sat down and had nothing to consume except those two cans.
And by the next day I had the utmost painful gastric I had ever experienced.
So if you see me buying coffee today please remind me to get pink panadols. Okay okay, I'm so bad to the other gender.. lol...
Oh on to moosic, I've been listening to alot of KLove and the adult Hillsongs. And I think Bebo Norman has the coolest, craziest, most amazing vocals I've ever heard out from a christian singer. I mean other than Marty Sampson of course. Seriously! Bebo Norman has this deep, rugged coarse undertone and it's overlaid with an ultimate powerful adolescent voice. Ahhh it's aweeeeeeeeeeeeesoooooommmmmeee...
And these days Dad has been just looking after me. He's always there, when I do my word and I read about what he does to people like Samuel and Esther. Just amazing... and He really gave me people that I can count on. I didn't come so far on my own. Yeap.
By the end of today, I won't have any energy left for the weekend.
So for now let's go WHACKY! WHACKY!
Random things you don't know about Helmut The Gummi Biker:
- He likes Daffy Duck more than Donald
- He wonders if the caucasians playing Snow White and Cinderella in HK Disneyland knows how to speak cantonese
- He thinks he really need to get nail polish (ask him why yourselves hahaha)
- He just named his 120 gb external hard disk Goliath, and his 2 gb thumbdrive David (so inventive right this helmut!? lol)
- He actually wishes that they send him new residential directories so he can read the names of all the Singaporeans in.... er... well, Singapore. hahaha..
At The Beginning
You have no idea how happy I am to see each one of you grow, pursuing dreams and goals for God. It's like watching younger siblings becoming the independent men and women they were made to be. Just makes me super psyched.. haha..
And I will always try to be there for you.
No matter what.
How many people are we given a chance to love? How many characters will we face in our lives? It's not my calling to let any chance slip by. As people that by crazy incidences I've met and got to know, I cherish every single one of you.
Dad told me today, "Spend more time with me, and I will answer you,"
And by that affirmation, I'm taking a step I've never taken before. A step I've always thought I did take, but to actually dwell deeper into Him, is an action no amount of words I use can describe.
And through His love, I will not love you by my mere, selfish human self, but through his unconditional love.
At the beginning, before every hurt and every pain, there is hope. And this hope is what keeps us alive, and together.
School's crazy, but nothing can beat the desires He has rested in my heart. It's so much more exuberant, more mind-boggling, more wonderful than anything I can do or say. :]
I Will Lift My Eyes
Another week has just zoomed passed.
I'm typing this with very heavy eyes, that have been going through tons and tons of pdf, ppt, word files, websites, pictures, the whole night. And that was before the long nap, and that was before understudies jamming.
Jamming's cool, it always is. You know, there is absolutely NO point for me to be all proud and all just because I'm a vsc student and I dress like one and I listen to the kinds of music that most of us listen to. And just because of that, it doesn't automatically make me a cool kid, the kind who go watch gigs and paint their nails black, and know all the bands from AVA to Zolof the rock and roll destroyer. But I'm just plain old boring sy. Never really had a band, never had jamming sessions with people out of church, never liked metal that much. I've tried living that life, forcing myself and seriously - There is no point, to say that I'm an avid music hardcore because I'm not. I just like my indie and christian music.
I'm not cut out for leading. At least not yet. Because I don't even have that passion, that passion I see Chris and Josh ignite with when they lead. Humbly I say that I really have loads to learn from everyone. And I'm really tired trying to meet my own expectations out of myself. I'm just not there yet.
Sometimes, I feel like just slapping myself. "Shan yu you are just plain you, not that talented, not that much of a leader, not that friend, stop trying so hard. You are an over-sensitive guy, start to learn to become a normal guy," Normal guy? What does that mean, I dunno.... but I hear a part of me telling myself that everyday. And I guess maybe these days I have been really just pushing and pushing myself over the limit, and that's why I feel so worn out now.
I am not composed. I confess, I don't have the answers for everything.
I am just plain old Shan Yu. After trying to be a joker, a social misfit, an introvert, I am still just me. And tonight, I come bare, with no agendas, no schemes, no expectations.
Hello people.
My mum told me I have to go have an eye checkup soon, I'm beginning to have distorted vision. And tonight, it just seems to be worse.
Tomorrow, we'll be collaborating all the slides and stuff. Another tough day after a tough day, and it just goes on and on. But I have my Dad and I will make sure that I honour Him every single moment I can. He will be there, and He will just take his hand and shield me and you (yes you) from all the harsh things that might come ahead.
3.11 am.
As usual, please don't ever sleep later than I do because it's no good for your eyes.
Goodnight, and God bless.
Annebubahasdiarrheoa
Yea I'm shagged and I'll just do an update and be off to sleep.
It was good to see alot of younger people coming to the TP open house. It means we start to have juniors! Whooo! Haha... and I was trying to avoid all the polo people at the CCA carnival cause they'll just give me the you-quit-cause-you're-lazy look. And I don't need that right now.
Haha, we were laughing at the catwalk cause it was kinda colour vomit all over. And I saw tuebor and mich ON THE SAME DAY finally, after months of not seeing them at all.. hahaha..
Our project work is going somewhere! And I'm glad we've taken a direction... even though Desmond might be really pessimistic and critical, but I hope this one's one that he would raise his eyebrows in satisfaction and beam. It's rough when you don't get the thumbs up and you realise it's because as a group leader, you aren't steering the group in the best direction possible. And as stressful as that is, I'm trying. and I hope it goes well for everyone too.
Somehow, everything seems right, but wrong too. I just can't place my finger on it, and I don't want to go into it, yeah but something's up.
I sat at the bus stop near church for an hour today waiting for the rain to stop, haha and it just got heavier and heavier until I was 3 cm deep in rainwater, gushing from the hills behind the busstop, plummeting down the slanted pavement over my shoes. But luckily I had a novel and Oh oh, I read the Logos VS Rehmas article finally today, and yeah it really got into me. I won't forget that ever.
Wah need for speed on psp is darn fun. I thought the com one was good enough but this one's wayy better.
The NS letter finally came. Yeap. The first sign of being 18.
And SY gets off the computer around this time.
Where's The Face Paint
I know you all are dying to see Ronald McDonald turn handsome and emo.
Hahaha. Thank you Aivelia.
Zealousnessity
This is how we should be living out lives. YEAH =DD
I dunno, sometimes I think we get lost in our lives, and forget that our overflowing joy from Him can be so simple and pure and exciting hahaha... Seriously am trying to sing this song, cause it's just filled with the craziest joy for God and if you all saw how nuts I can be when I'm at it, I don't think you'll associate yourself with me anymore.. hahahaha
STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN was in Singapore, and I didn't even spare the time to see him.
*smacks my forehead*
Steven Curtis Chapman - Live Out Loud
Imagine this…I get a phone call from Regis
He says, "Do you want to be a millionaire?"
They put me on the show and I win with two lifelines to spare
Now picture this…I act like nothing ever happened
And bury all the money in a coffee can
Well, I’ve been given more than Regis ever gave away
I was a dead man who was called to come out of my grave
And I think it’s time for makin’ some noise
Wake the neighbors, get the word out
Come on…crank up the music…climb a mountain and shout
This is life we’ve been given made to be lived out
So la la la la live out loud
Live out loud, yeah
Think about this…try to keep a bird from singing
After it’s soared up in the sky
Give the sun a cloudless day and tell it not to shine
Now think about this…if we really have been given
The gift of a life that will never end
And if we have been filled with living hope we’re gonna overflow
And if God’s love is burning in our hearts we’re gonna glow
There’s just no way to keep it in
Everybody, come on
La la la…la la la la
La la la live out loud
I want to hear everybody sing
La la la…la la la la
La la la live out loud, loud, loud
Every corner of creation is a living declaration
Come join the song we were made to sing
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Presentation today was okay. I jumbled up tonnes of information and stuff. And Hanif did waaayyy awesome, like waaaayy awesome. I'm just good with words but no content. Haha Magaret says desmond has a fridae account which is just predictable when I first heard it, but still shocking. And she says someone told her - possibly Joel. Hmm, so Joel, how did you find out? *winks* aaahahaha..
Gratitude
A good long Thank You post for this emo emo place. :] It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:3 - 10 I have a long night tonight, and one of the worse days of the month tomorrow. So goodnight, take care. Blankets and socks for the cold, chilly nights these days. :]
Thank God for this week.
You have done alot of crazy things in my life Dad. Tons and tons of things. So much so, to suddenly have a sudden change of acceleration, from the laid-back life I had to the fast and furious. And I thank You for all of it.
Yesterday's service was good. It touched many hearts, and I felt it ministered to the youngers ones. I'm glad it did, so glad to see them growing, so happy to see each of them turn from 16 to 17. And as unconvincing as it sounds, it pains me so much to see some of them having to go through things and situations that even I might not have faced. I wish it wouldn't have happened to them, I really do. It's always tough to grow up faster than your friends. I know I can't help some of them much but to listen, watching their hearts turn so weary and worn from everything that happens in their lives.
But I know You allowed this to happen to make them grow, and I know their hearts are getting moulded by Your hands with each passing trial you put up to them. Thank you for them. Thank you for every single person, Esther, YJ, JT, even Pauline, Liane, Cheryl, Joab, Jerome, Ben, Xue Ling, Joan, etc. So I pray that You will keep Your hands over their lives. And that they will find solace in us, in cell, and most importantly with You.
I really don't mind the work that's over my shoulders right now. It might be one of the tougher weeks in school, but it's okay cause Ho Wai understands at least. Sometimes when I feel like cell has shifted to a lightly more JC outlook, and that nobody understands or can support what I'm doing, he was there to reassure me and yea. Thank You for leaders like him, because he's always honest and straight to the point and always trying his best.
This week has been all about Disciple Vs Believer. The things we go through, the furnace flames we endure, to come out better people and better servants. And yes, it's not been easy, but with faith we have made it through so far, and I know I will keep trying to pull through the things You place in the future.
I pray that when I fall, You will give me support, and ask the same support out of me for others. Thank you Father for Victor, for him always sharing great words from You. He is the one person I listen to every single time, and he motivates me more than he knows. :]
I lay my Mum in Your hands. I know she doesn't want to bother or delve deeper into things she's commited to. And that's why we are like what we are now, so far and distant. Because of our different beliefs. Over the years, the unrevolved hurts and disappointments between each of us has led to this. And I told her, that I had already given up trying so many times, but I've not. And even if whatever I say will fall on deaf ears years and years on, I will try and try to bring her to grow deeper with You.
I thank You for her, for the family, for my brother. Even during the times they judge me, and sometimes dissociate me. That You protect them all, look after their lives, and let me learn how to have peace when I talk to them.
Thank you Dad for VSC, for Temasek Poly, for even the short time I that I was in polo. Thank you for putting fantastic poly friends, and making it a whole lot easier with other schoolmates of the same faith. Even though we really aren't close at all, thanks for making them who they are. How we count on one another in schoolwork, in projects, in our groups, during lunch etc. I thank you for the great people I've met in there. Faith, Dilys, JT, Shawn Paul, Angelina, kelle, adeline, weird nart, the crazy clarence, the blur clara, the powerhouse pepper, the warm-hearted shannon, the funny jayne, FOR JOEL the weirdo who always laughs at his own jokes ahahaha and the much much mores that I've not mentioned.
Thank YOU for the secondary school friends that I none of us will EVER forget. The Dudes Of SAS that we will grow senile together (ahahaha).. For Hanif, for always being such a weirdo friend and for always pinpointing out parts of my life that need attention. For gar meng for just being a tuls partner, for Marco, for sh, for Dan, Hooper, Jeremy, Aaron and the many many more. Please look after them Lord, that your hand will be over their lives, that the ones that have not known you will have stirring in their hearts, and for the ones that do to grow deeper in You. Haha Dad you're awesome..
Last but not least, the worship people. The ones that I never thought would know well but eventually did. Thanks for the Yakultos (or something, I just saw that name off somewhere so haha spare me), the understudies, Jesselene, Lisa, Zbrothers, Marcus and everyone else. Including the leaders. I pray that you look after their lives, their hopes and dreams You know better than I do, and Father I pray that you will make us all vessels for one another, and to everyone else too. Thanks even for Chris, for his persistent love that I cannot understand, for trying, for his smses cause these nights have been really rough, and they always give me motivation.
And to everyone of you that I might have mentioned but have brushed lightly on your name but you know very well you mean more than just normal buddies and friends to me (okay. I think we should all pause to get that sentence..hahaha), I will always try to be there for you. And I will always treasure everyone one of you, and I really thank God for putting you in my life. Yea.
AND THANK GOD FOR YOUR VERY SELF. Haha, thank YOU for being a great Dad and walking me through so many obstacles, always being there by my side. Listening to my prayers, and as I try to medidate on Your word. Thank YOU for just allowing me to know You because there is nothing else in the world that I would rather have than You. And Yes Dad You Are The Coolest Father ever... whooooooooOOOoooOOoo
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I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
The Concluding Note
I will not give myself self-pity. I won't allow people to give me sympathy. If I've failed, then I've failed. And if I've tried, then I've tried.
I've tried being there, and if that's not enough, then I'm sorry on my part. Because I have failed as a friend to understand. And I've failed to realise that sometimes it's just me being too personal, and that I have to draw a line. A line that warns me of my limitations, that even as best of friends, sometimes shortcomings will happen, and sometimes space is important, and from now on I won't want to cross it unnecessarily. I won't forsake any of you, and I will still be me, but now I know that there is a thin line that seperates the platonic and the not, and I'm concious and wary of that from now on.
If it's maturity that needs to pay the price, then let God allow maturity to do it's part with me.
And with that, lies my concluding note.
Jeans Leans Peas
Researching Levi Strauss has hit many interesting doors. Kim Jin thinks Gregory Colbert might be too obscure to actually be counted a design icon, and then I thought of Levi's.
To actually tell you the truth, those pair of blue denim pants you have right now inside your wardrobe, be it from Lee, Superfine, Cheap Monday, J Brand, Acne or Gap, it all came from this dude Levi Strauss. He was the father of blue jeans and will always be it.
If he had not funded the patent for riveted jeans, then there would never have been denim pants to begin with. Here's some facts about Levi's that I never knew, and it might be interesting for you. :] He was not the creator of the material denim. It was rumoured this fabric came from a town in France called Nimes. He never tailored, designed or make a pair of jeans. Levi Strauss was a devout Jew and was fervent about his religion.
I'm not an extreme denim fan. I only have a Levi's and a Lee Cooper. Both straight, and I'm not fashionable enough to waste good jeans, for the new skinny ones that most people are trying to fit into. Which is actually kinda cool... but right now looks more of an emo trend locally than anything else.
Its All About Your Jeans
Some ground rules from Denimology.com - it helped tons on my research:
- Do not wear skinny jeans unless you are in a band (it's an under-the-age-of-25 piece)
- Do not wear baggy jeans unless you are in a gang
- Do not wear carpenter jeans unless you are a carpenter
- Do not wear tapered jeans. Ever. Self explanatory I think, haha..
Try not to wash your jeans regularly. According to resources, overwashed jeans might turn brittle, dry, and tear more easily than jeans worn for a longer period of time. It's the dirt and muck I tell you, haha it's the dirt and muck. Oh, and here's an article that's very interesting and enviromentally concerning:
How washing your jeans might cost the Earth
Quality Denim Brands (other than Levi's):
Claude Maus has extremely simple and basic jean designs that are rarely seen. It's not something that most people go for, but I personally dig their simplicity. Problem is it's hard to get it outside of Australia.
Nudie Jeans is probably one of the leading commercial denim wear companies in the world. Wearing a nudie shows some standard. The philosophy of Nudie jeans is to become part of your dreams. "The more you wear your jeans the more beautiful they get." is their life statement to you. Although Nudie markets more of men's jeans than women's, I'm sure anyone would dig their Fit Guide layout.. :]
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Some thing about the brand Cheap Monday you might like to watch out for. Their company logo is a skull with an inverted cross on it's forehead. Cheap Monday founder Bjorn Atldax insists he has a purpose beyond selling denim - to make young people question Christianity, which he calls a "force of evil".
Yeah, even though they have quality apparel for reasonable costs, I think we have to look behind the price tags sometimes, and see the agendas the designers lead and take before we accept their products. How sometimes leading worldly lives and christian lives can come down to the most minute of things like buying and choosing what to wear.
Tout Doucement
I never wanted this to end up like what it is now.
And I must say, that this is also partially my fault. My own expectations and the way I thought it will work out, how it will be make Me feel good. I'm sorry, for the times I was being selfish, and never putting God in the middle of it. Never thinking about you.
When you begged me yesterday, and you asked me to let you hang on on just a little bit of me, a little part of my shirt. I just can't pretend it doesn't pain me looking at your determination, and desperation. I wanted nothing to do with you, and yet you never gave up on it. It pains me to see you having to do everything, that I will be on the receiving side.
I won't think of the agendas anymore. I won't lay any expectations on you. We will start out all over again as acquaintances. Nothing more, nothing less. You have my word that I will try on my part.
I will keep my side of the agreement.
Love
Love. Extends over all boundaries, all circumstances, all things and everyone.
In love, we are connected, we are all but one. Manifesting our beings with each other, turning and churning around in our situations and experiences. Out of the peaks and the crestfallen points, we gather, we crowd, we take up places in each other's hearts.
In love, we accept one another, we spend time with each other, we desire for good things for each other, and we wish for the real happiness within you and within me.
In love, we don't think about our responsibilities or our obligations, but that we do what we do out of a pure and simple motive. A motive so pure that you can tell when someone loves and when someone don't. Their actions reflect this purity. And without this purity, all false and fake love come to light.
Love is simple and complicated at the same time. It draws so much out of us, that sometimes we only mean it for a selected few. Love takes overflowing, over and over. It takes trust and honesty and raw expectations. And it takes even more to actually say it.
So, you still think you can say I love you in your emails and when you talk to me?
With Anger and Regret
Okay, so Mr Desmond Sim wants us to find a few graphic magazines and books that he says we should follow intentively. So I went back to my desk looked around all places, and found this really super old edition of grafik, lying somewhere in my archives. Flipping through grafik once again (and actually reading the articles for the first time), it dawns on me that it isn't that bad afterall. Stunning pictures, amazing typography, a huge range of designers and design sectors - graphic design, fashion, photography, museum recommendations, and even product design.
I don't have pictures cause it's a rather indie publishing and I can't find good pictures to show you all. Haha, I'll get my hands on a few more editions and lend you if you're interested.
School's started and I have some things I really need to get down and start doing, like the 3 design icons Kim Jin asked us to find. Gregory Colbert's definitely one of them for me. But I've yet to think of two other designers.
Yesterday we were suppose to present an art exhibition we went for the day before, and I thought Hanif did really well. That deep and rich newscaster's voice ahaha.. and he was using english words that Kim Jin would definitely approve. Bob was fooling around in class with his imitation of Kim Jin's "wide eye wonder" look. Cause Kim Jin would always raise his eyebrows really high all the time and it's quite disturbing. Hahaha Bob is the man. I thought I talked too much during our turn, but I wanted to create that impression I was trying to put across about Katsushika Hokusai and Tan Swie Hian's pieces. (Yea sorry for using names you've never heard of haha)
How time flies, the first week of school is already ending. But then again we started on a Wednesday yea? Hahaha..
The Next Page
Beginnings always seem to have a tiny after-taste of old memories.
As dan, ivan, hoops, aaron, kianger, bc, hanif, jeremy and I sat down just now, talking about those secondary school times, stirring up so much memories and stupid things that we now look back and can only laugh at. I really miss those days, when things were simpler. And we always had squabbles and we'd patch up after that. And we'll play soccer or basketball everyday. And we'll make the teachers angry hahaha...
Those were the days and those ARE the friends that none of us will ever forget.
I think I'm not mature enough in some areas. And I pray that God come in and really change my perspective and my point of view for everything. Sometimes I am still angry at myself, why I couldn't I have handled somethings with better control. Why I lack persistency when it comes to knowing Him. With the many what ifs and should haves. But then out of the what ifs, comes the future chances to make things right. And I'm learning to take hold of that.
My resolutions are simple.
To know Him more.
To set things straight with people.
To grow to become someone that might have to lead others one day.
And of course to (finally) learn the guitar :]
A very happy new year people.
So goodnight 2006.
It's time to become 18.
Dang Dang Dang On The Harmonica
The wedding was good. Haha, when I was up on stage I felt really amazingly happy for Pauline and KW. Haha... and yea. The whole first-time-being-up was quite nerve-wrecking and everything. But it was good, it was good. Thank God for the opposite tv screen flashing the chinese lyrics ahahah..
Then the ex 2b gang went to play at Mind's and I digged taboo alot. And Hanif that whacko splatted tons of hairwax in my hair and did this crazy hairstyle I've never seen before. Cause he asked me if he could crazy and I said he could. But I didn't expect that la hahaha... And then we wore our sunglasses and acted like punks down to town, it was actually kind of funny cause Sin Teck saw me on the way and his mouth dropped open.
Hahahahaa I love jeremy my man. I will forever love jeremy aaaaaaaahahaahahaahahaha He is like my best buddy man during taboo. He's hilarious.
But of course the highlight was the couple during the wedding dinner. Hahaha PaulineK looked awesome with her glitter and stuff.. and KW was suave la. It's those kind of wedding nights when I actually know the people getting married hahaha so in that sense it was much more personal.
Oh and I finally saw Emily. Who was the SAME Emily Isaac Pung was dating back in SAS. Which shocked me like crazy cause she really was quite the topic back in secondary school. But I can safely say she's not the girl BC always tells me about. She was mature, and she knew what she wanted in life, and she wanted a Christ-like life and that was just awesome. Cheerios to her. It's great to know we live in such a small world. Haha..
And so the night carried on with both of us talking about people we know. She calls Ivan Pokemon Boy hahaha which I found very accurate hahahaha.. and of course there was good food. Bicycle lights lighted lobster heads, fried chicken heads and baby abalones with shells in the insides. Hahaha it was quirky..
Haha Jengting and Yj and I were passing the chicken head from one plate to another hoping we don't get chicken headed wives. Hahahaha..
For the greatest bunch of weirdos and lamers in church.. hahahaaha
Thanks for always being great friends, every single one of you :]
Hope this new year we become even more whacky and get even closer heh..
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It's not easy being someone taking care of another one.
It's time to end this right now and move on. And go back to how it was. After one whole round of events, I think it's time to return to how it was 6 months ago. When I didn't know some people well, and I knew others better. Before school reopens, things should be fixed right. Things will be fixed right.