You Ready? You've Got Us.
I rebuke the spirit that binds you, the long-held chains that embellishes your ingenuity. There is no condonation when it comes to this, and no other way for restoration than through the one both of us call our Father. Where there is no light let His light seep in, in the deepest depths of our darkest selves, let His love flow through. I believe in change. Do you believe it? Do you honestly believe it so much that you present your most vulnerable and dark self to Him? Let him ravage through the shelves of misdeeds and hurts and take away the infested objects in the hearts' storerooms of you and I?
I see this happen day in, day out; words we speak of love that fall flat on the ground and not soaked into our minds. I offer my hand out - along with so many other people - yet you do not want to hold it. Does the tough road of restoration ahead scare you? Well, it scares me too, but I won't give in to the fear the evil one wants us to feel. I can only give you my promise that our Daddy and I will never leave your side in this.
Hidden are our pasts, swept under a rug, swept under the conversations and laughters that shroud our present lives. What happened to our transparency, our unity, our exchange of confident and supportive looks, with that assuring nod and that joyous smirk, telling one another 'it's going to be okay,'? Let's pray for change, that you will find that strength in Him to want change. So desperate for a change and so desperate for a freedom that will truly unbind you and me. Because I want to see you happy, to get thrown with challenges in life and still stand strong to know you have a God that's Almighty and Supernatural, not to depend on me to give you comforting words and not to wish that I wasn't around so that you won't be reminded of what has happened in the past.
If tough love is what I have to practice, then I shall. I will show you my faith in the things I do. My faith in Him over your lives, and my faith in every single one of you.
But it's time for change.
Sound the red alarm, bring in the screams, fear and the blankets to find a place to hide from the inevitable.
But I will yank you out of the corner you hide, and snatch you from the fire.
Because this is my faith for you. And we shall walk down this arduous road of healing and firmness together, with the many others that see the amazing future God has infront of you. Just that at this point, we gotta learn to let go of one thing, to hold on to another, that is so much more eternal and magnificent than we can ever imagine.
I will somehow bring you to a place where you truly see His light.
No more lies, no more underlying things, no more wallowing in the sorrows that we face constantly. But to stand strong and to realize that it is Love that brought us to our knees
and Love that will make us stand up strong again.
Jude 1:22 - 23
Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.
Collar Pins
I woke up at 8 am.
Realized I didn't power nap, and slept through the whole night.
So I grabbed some yoghurt and milk.
Seriously.
Turned on Pirates of the Carribean 1 and did work for final submission.
12 pm. Mum switches on a religious/rites documentary on CNA
Cheryl Fox has such a cool surname.
Seriously.
My mum commented how I'm the only one in the family having long legs. I found that mildly worth being happy for and yet at the same time weird that she mentioned.
Anyway I ate horrible beehoon (not her's)
Completed my CD design. Yes, finally.
3 pm, rushed to school.
I talked to Daddy along the way, He's really an eye-opener. Really.
Printed CD, cut and pasted it in.
The CD-Design.pdf couldn't work on the comps in the printshop and I was left stranded in there trying to manually staple the CD Booklet together.
Yeah, manually.
Had to poke a hole through the sheets of paper one by one and lodge the metal wire into shape.
Elizabeth and Amanda were rushing... hahaha, we love our module don't we?
Back in class, I presented my work.
Which I think I did horribly.
Cause Wen Hao fell into one of his sleep trances, and everyone was chuckling.
Si-Y tipped us off for our P2 project in the month after our holidays. I love her! haha
She reminds me of cheryl fox somehow. Vaguely.
So we decided to go celebrate the end of block at pizza hut again.
I had chic'ago, It's like a chicken pasta?
But they didn't gave the creamy alfredo sauce that I picked - it came in tangy neopolitan. Didn't really dig that.
We talked about our future - husbands, wives, kids, weddings and all.
I felt really inferior cause I didn't think any girl would ever like me.
Well, cause maybe my outer me is so loud and my inner me is so introvert-ish. I didn't think anyone could stand that.
Faith said something funny.
"Don't worry, you still got some market value,"
Haha, phrase of the day.
Talked to Daddy again, to get rid of the inferiority. Or whatever not... heehee
Reached home, realized my bro's going camping.
*chuckles*
Ate the ham salad I made the other day.
Smsed Shawn and went to sleep.
He woke me up via calling and now I'm ready to do some more work.
I think my life's pretty stagnantly hectic now.
A Loud Grateful Shoutout (Part 2)
You know there's so so so so so so much to life that we can find out of? Doors we could open that we rather close because the information might be too overwhelming?
What do you define as depth in a person? Or maturity, or wisdom?
I've learnt that maturity and wisdom is never comes definite with age, or academic intelligence. Or with the advice we give others younger than us, or the clothes we wear or the way we look. Sometimes, I wish some people older than me had more wisdom, so that I can truly and utterly have a peace of mind, knowing that I can lean on their knowledge, and they can make decisive choices in their lives that won't make me worry.
But at the end of the day, even if they can't make wise decisions and have the amount of expected maturity we think they would have. It all boils down to one thing; love. I can always expect Mum or Dad or them to have that wisdom that would make me feel well-assured. But if they can't, does that mean I condescend them? Or give them any lesser respect than I should give? No. Because I love them.
And when there's love. You learn to compromise. You learn to love their inabilities, and respect them even more to know that they're merely human like anyone else - me included, and not perfect beings. You learn to work around their bad points, and find comfort in their good ones.
So I thank you.
I thank you God for You. For not giving up on me when I wanted to. And I thank you for all friendships; past, present and the ones we're trying to work out for in the future. Every single dude and dudette, everyone that I've been in touch with.
The tiny gestures. The prayer-requests for me, the tiny sachet of chocolates for working hard on church design - with a note of encouragement, the goodnight smses after a long day. They all make me smile and thank God. I remember them all, and I thank them all.
Everyone needs a pat on the back once in awhile. And I've learnt that it's always give and take, and as much as people are there for me, I will step out in boldness, and truly try to make God proud as I aim to be a History Maker.
Nothing less.
:]
A Loud Grateful Shoutout (Part 1)
Tonight, I thank God for the simple things in life.
I shan't make big exclamations or write flamboyant essays.
Tonight I just want to thank God for what he's done.
I thank God for HW, who's always been listening and advising and always there as my elder brother. The one who listens intensively and never fails to encourage me when I fall short of who I want to be become. He's taught me so many things throughout the nights, and made me ponder about what's taking a leap of faith in Daddy and what's just remaining a 'christian' and not a 'disciple'. How today I was really down by what I couldn't do, and he reached over and patted me. He's already taught me boldness in ways I've never knew and never would've done.
I thank God for Chris, for who he has become. For becoming my K-O-R. That throughout these months he's become someone that totally nullified what I used to think of him. I thank God for always giving him love and a persevering heart for the things close to his heart, and I appreciate the crazy nicknames (-_-) he calls me, and the quirkiness that makes him him. It's practically nuts sometimes lor, but it's him la (mr. hunkydory).. Haha.. very very thankful for the advice that he gives me constantly. The support he gives.. THANK you kor :] :]
And I REALLY REALLY thank Dad for Shawn. Hahaha for doing the minute gestures that amounts to his care. I'm VERY grateful to have him as my kahkee for YES rally designs. If it's not for him, I would've just died from work and stress and whatnot, he's been daveryhelpfulman.
Sometimes I feel like I'm inadequate as a friend. Or I'm too insensitive, and I cannot be up to speed as buddy for someone than I could be. Maybe somewhere along the search for definite a personality, I've created this doubt in myself. So if I ever irritate anyone, I really am sorry.
At this time, Dad makes me feel much better with the growling night skies; a little stormy and windy, but cool as the beach wind in the early mornings. So many people in church I wouldn't expect to hear encouragement from has dropped it on me. And even without it And it's all worth it, the amounting work, the little more time I spend doing work, the strenuous early mornings and late nights. I can take it all because I have His joy, and His joy is my strength. :]
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There is a longing only You can fill
A raging tempest only You can still
my heart is thirsty for to know you as I've known
drink from the river that flows before your throne
And the thank yous do not stop there.. there's still so many friends :]
TO BE CONTINUED
I Rest (Actually I Don't Even Have Time To Rest) My Case
1 major YES Rally design to begin.
2 Adventure camp t-shirt design not done.
3 A3 layout posters to complete.
4 hours of sleep.
5 illustration CD-Cover thumbnails by friday.
18 illustration layouts to do.
And who said being a designer is so much less of a job than any other occupation?
The Give and Take
It's an understatement, to say that people are one helluvaride to get. "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am
There are times when I feel as if people and their feelings collate into one; so strongly you cannot distinguish person from their thoughts. Their personalities fade into their emotions, and you can no longer sense either. Even the relationships that seem immaculate, always are shrouded with unspoken words and thoughts. Forthrightness, pain, disappointment - they all might be lingering beneath our smiling faces and happy laughter, thing that hold us back, hold us back.
I have no definite idea why many times our friendships and relationships hang upon this single thread of 'grey area'. In an absence of an incisive trust, or an incisive love. Yet there's enough to keep us going on with one another, enough for us to be patient with one another, enough love for us to tolerate one another's shortcomings.
Maybe this is what you call 'give-and-take'.
How many times have we kept our comments and opinions about someone to ourselves, things we can resolve but we prefer not to. Waiting for Time to take its 'presumed ' restorative course upon our friendships, hoping one day the silence and tension between two parties will eventually dissipate into forgiveness.
At the end of the day, cold shoulders won't work, ignorance will diminish, and that's when the real issues will begin to resurface and bite us back in the butt. Relationships are the single most confusing things in the world, because if one demands more than another can give, the whole frequency shifts, sometimes in ways we would never expect.
And it's one valuable lesson I've learnt from Him.
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Matthew 15:18-20
"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
I with them."
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Whoever you decide to let go on earth, will be the same in heaven. And whoever you choose to forge friendships will, thus will be the same in heaven.
Repulses
It's been awhile since I got this feeling, but I'm feeling that too-little-time repulse in my body again.
It's a time that I (and perhaps you) get when there's too much to do and I've not been having enough time to do them all. You know that tingling feeling in your heart, that's sorta in a constant frantic panic, penetrating into the abyss of your thoughts and yanks out the immediate obligations and desired things to do.
Yeah, I think I've gotten that countless of times after I came into poly.
Ho Wai was saying the other night that he always thought poly life was more carefree and easy compared to JC. But looking at us, he thinks that theory could just be given the benefit of a doubt.
Anyway, I'm not here to lament about the atrocious amount of work a year 2 poly student might get, it's just self-explanatory I guess.
Anyway Last night howai gege and I went to catch Spiderman 3. He was nice enough to come down to my school and wait for me to finish my scanning (haha sorry man). Was a good breather from schoolwork for a change, and I really enjoyed the time cause we just kept talking and talking, and that's the cool thing about being with him, we always keep the ball rolling. Spiderman 3 was kind of a disappointment, but HW told me alot about spiderman that I didn't knew of, and that made things interesting.
Remember how spiderman used to be this crazy cartoon and Mary Jane died and spiderman met this old sage-woman that teleported him here and there, and he grew 6 other arms and there were supervillains like carnage and venom and the purpleyellow-GREEN goblin?
Hahahaha, yea spiderman was really awesome and cool then, but it's screwed up when looking back at it now.
Come To Jesus
So simple a song, it broke me down.
And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live
Weekamania
Whooooo FINALLY the weekend is here.
I've been waiting all week for this Saturday and Sunday. My prized days after one whole week of sleepless nights and countless projects on top of one another. Sorry if I've not been very actively "blogging" (so to speak), just been very caught up with school work and church work. YEAP. School is very evidently different compared to year 1, hehehe..
But...
Here I am! For a really short Saturday break.
These few days we've been cooped in our studios creating nice layouts for Mrs. (Ms? she looks married right hmm yea.. Mrs) Patricia Tan and illustrations for Ms (Mrs?) Si-Y (her name's uber cool, there's a hyphen..haha). If time allows I'll scan up some of the work we have to do and show you guys.. but for now I've got my hands and feet and head full.
I've found this awesome site called www.crunchyroll.com that shows tons of asian drama series, so if you missed out on your favourite chinese/korean/jap drama you can go there and have a good peek. And there's also a huge database of anime and Asian movies.
It's like an Asian youtube.. so GO!
Someone remind me to thank mich for her email on that site. (yes yes I owe you the alex parks CD mich.. haha)
Anyway I was re-watching The Champion on crunchyroll. It's this channel 8 series on a swimteam and their trainings and the love triangles and how they propel against all odds and become champion swimmers. Very inspiring, I really wanna go swim and try out some of the 50x20 laps and stuff, but there's just too much work to do to go swimming. HAIZ.
Speaking of swimming and of the related, there's been rumours flying about specific people on specific things. And there's been alot of gossip in the air. TDS is really fueled by the power of the wagging tongues. Not exactly the nicest thing in the world.. haiz..
Daddy has really been so awesome this week. :] He made PM successful and awesome, and it was bad on my part cause I didn't know I had to prepare for it. So I tried sharing the little I know during it, but we prayed fervently for the school, and to see this unity amass across different churchies just makes me really really REALLY happy. And He's blessed me with good people around, I never really say it or act it... but I really do appreciate everyone around me ALOT. Like Ben, Hanif, Shawn, Dilys, and the list goes on and on, I really am grateful for every single one of them. :]
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Children of God
1 John 2: 28 - 29
And now, dear children, continue in Him, so that when He appears we may be confident and unashamed before Him at his coming.
If you know that He is righteous, you know that everyone who does what is right has been born of Him.
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Yeah, okay.. gotta rush down to the library for research. K see ya!
Hard Day. Soft Nappy
I was quite pressured by the workload for tomorrow, until I saw this on axiomation.
Ahahahahaha, Happy babies are the happiest things ever. Makes me smile one thousand times.. =DDD x 1000