The Light Experimentals
(HAHAHAHAHA sorry Liz this was so hilarious I had to put it up...)
Okay, first of all I'd like to thank Shawn for tagging along with me to do my lame errands on Wednesday; thanks a bunch mate. That afternoon we ate at the TDS Canteen (chicken salsa good right? Hahahah) and then went to collect my D80 from my uncle. Anyway Shawn if you need tagging along for anything just call me, I owe you one. Heh..
AND YES! NIKON D80 is as legendarily beautiful as it had been described. It's absolutely stunning and the controls are so mind-boggling. Hahaha... so for the next week the D80 Manual will be constantly in my bag. So I make sure I don't act like a noob on a pro cam.
This afternoon I went to Kranji War Memorial to take pictures for the Experimental DI assignment. And wah the journey there was horribly long... like about an hour via MRT. And when I reached I asked the nice Indian lady at the passenger service for directions. She told me to walk straight down and turn right. But I walked straight down into TURF CITY AND COULDN'T FIND THE FREAKING RIGHT for 20 minutes. Then I realise Turf City had no exit in the way I went -_-. Wah I felt like a blonde haha.. And I walked a good 1.5 km back to the train station and walked for another 2km to the war memorial. Kranji is wayyyyy humanless it's scary. And there was a wild dog going around the area... Yeaa....
But Kranji War Memorial is an utter sight. One of the most beautiful places in Singapore. And they have like 10 gardeners manning the entire isolated premise. I have no idea why. Anyway it's pretty inaccessible and when I finally found the tiny twisting road there, there was absolutely no one. It just had an open gate ajar. With no one except gardeners in Feng Fei Fei hats. I think I'll go back there soon; haven't really taken anything amazing yet. My pictures will never be as great as this.
Going back to school took another 1.5 hours. Excluding the 2km walk back to Kranji station.
Liz and I went to shoot Vivo City just now. It was suppose to be for this competition Vivo was having called "My Vivo Moments". Hahahahahahaha the name's quite weird. What's a Vivo Moment? Like taking a picture of laughing kids in Vivo? I dunno... So Liz became a PI and kept shooting couples holding hands and people laughing discreetly. She shot one couple where the guy's hands were on the girl's butt and it look like he was molesting her.. Hahahahaha, I burst out laughing when I saw it.
Eventually we gave up and went outside to try shooting experimental stuff.
Tomorrow: More photos and shooting and CP at night. I'm nervous, God please sustain me..
The Beating Hearts Of Two
I'm sitting here, the time reads 12.40 pm. I've not been doing anything much except read abit more of my novel and finish another chapter of the Max Lucado book I'm re-reading. I waiting for Andrew to go down to macs and pass me CDs that he wanted to lend me a long way back. I'm surprised he remembered, because I've forgotten. But Andrew is Andrew, he's a nice guy whose going to turn out a good man one day.
Later I'll go swimming. I've realise what Trix says is true; you lose weight after camps. Maybe it's cause you run around too much and you don't get to finish meals, but I must yet say again that camp was an awesome thing. I don't know about the rest who went, but this camp is where I've learnt about servanthood - ultimately. I could have been the only leader who didn't go for YLT, and no one saw enough in my heart to sign me up for it. And I was truly struggling with the fact that I was here telling God I would strive to push in more with Him, but when opportunity knocks for learning I wasn't given a portion it. But I've learnt about servanthood; and part of it is to be patient.
I might leave this site for good soon enough. I don't know. But I will never abandon it. This is the place where all my memories lie, from the periods of delinquency to grace to setbacks to revelations, I've typed them out here. And it stores too much of the past to be redeemed as nothing but a blog. I wouldn't call it one, but every single post is directed to something bigger than I am - even before I got saved - I didn't wanted just a channel to vent my emotions and feelings, I wanted someone up there to see it.
And in this journey I've learnt about Daddy in so many ways it excites me and puts me down at the same time. I'm excited to be growing and learning news things as I push on, yet I'm disappointed at myself for not going deeper; striving to know more of His word in particular. All in all His love exceeds my human ways and actions and thoughts. For his thoughts are not my thoughts, and I would never truly comprehend them.
This website, is where you get to know me. Every single part of me. My dreams, goals, ambitions, shortcomings, personality - me. This is the place that stores up all that has happened - big and small - throughout these three years of my adolescence. And though it might not seem like alot, it is enough for this guy here to call it his teenage years.
The next step now is to adulthood. I can't really place a finger on it and say I'm ready for it. Because it will come with new challenges that I will face. Yet I lean on Him in the times to come, for no one else would be able to pull me through than God and my willingness.
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So here's one for this adobe.
A little clinking of glass and a little smile,
The clasping hands would stay awhile,
and over the mist lies where we stand,
the red balloons and paraders dance
It's me, It's You, It's the song of the beating hearts of two.
No more is than what lays here within
No less is what You've seen and nested in
And the winds shall crash and Hokusai's strokes shall come to pass
But we hold hands till the first becomes last
It's me, It's You, It's the song of the beating hearts of two
And A New Stand
And we shall move,
And we shall stand,
For the world will fall,
and our own love shall not thaw,
what we have in You,
Oh Lord, what we have in You
gorgonzolah.livejournal.com
A Party For Two
At this point, I earn more than I'm giving.
At this point, my soul is bigger than my body.
But before all things, love is patient.
A Fire Consuming
I will watch that when it's out. Polar bears are the most beautiful and amazing animals (this sounds familiar) on earth and they make me go gaga all the time. :]
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I heard this album is pretty good.
But don't take my word for it, go get a listen!
As Tall As Lions
IF they come to Singapore (though it won't be as a big deal as anberlin and copeland), I would SO watch them. Dan there has amazing vocals, and they remind me alot of appleseed cast and andrew bird.
And if Relient K comes, I'll go. And make those front row tickets mine. And I'll mosh the night away and sweat like crazy and scream all the lyrics of all their songs and shake hands with Matt Thiessen and ask him how is he and Shannon coming along and take pictures with the band and have them autograph everything on me at that moment.
Maybe in the one of a billion chances they see this, PLEASE DO COME TO SINGAPORE. My life has been changed since your CD mmhmm, cause your lyrics are just so thought-provoking and desperate for God that the essence of breaking down life's facade is now hardwired into my habitual personality.
Well, that's if they come. But it never hurts to dream right?
Lying Here In The O.R. Letting You Fix Me
Heebok Lee
Tread Softly is a beautiful visual poetry piece by Heebok Lee.
He's a visual motion and graphic designer that pretty noted and has done projects for films like Superman Returns and Ghostrider. Whimsical, beautiful and intricate would be words to describe his works.
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It's been a rough weekend, but He has been faithful.
I've learnt that leadership is not about actively being a leader, but always being faithful to the smaller things. I've learnt that the heart of a leader should always first be of love and humility. And when He allows the opportunities to come, he will open doors for me.
What defines readiness? I can't answer it with full confidence. But all I know is my fire for Him is ablaze, and setbacks might come and go, people might not think I'm ready, people might reject me, but my flame shan't diminish. If it's not yet time for it then so be it. I will harbour patience and anchor humility deep in my heart, and wait.
I'm sharpening my axe. I'm relinquishing my iniquities and shortcomings to Him. I'm learning.
Couple of Designs
I made the top design for a T-shirt print in commemoration of the self-indulgent Pirates Of The Carribean franchise. And I seriously am gonna wear it, someday. Hahaha..
The Flight Of Existence
Our journeys will end, with the flght of existence.
When the skies shall embed our forgotten memories,
dwelling in the hearts of the forgiven,
faces, words, voices,
laughter, crying, reveries,
all ceasing to exist,
all coming to a hush,
who shall then come?
to hear our final heartbeats?
He would.
our jorneys will end, with the flight of existence.
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I don't feel like writing about change right now. I should be, cause this morning some terrible news just dropped down on me and I wanted to talk about it. But I'm not gonna.
What has happened recently?
Maybe a taste of the future to come.
Yeah...that's exactly how a feel; like I saw a bit of my future.
When the worship ministry went to that children's home yesterday, I knew I was going to have trouble entwining myself into the abyss of childhood. We were there for a short hour, playing games with these kids from dysfunctional families, and just trying to add a little joy back into their lives. I saw laughing faces, the kicking and screaming, constant selfishness - all these that relating to every single child we would ever come across. Kids are always kids, bubbly and joyful, yet so unvarnished by adult superficiality that they live lives I know some people would want.
It really humbled me when I thought someday...someday, I would be at that exact same position as someone's dad, conversing to them with up-key voices and entertaining them with immature questions and a constant smiling face. Reassuring my little ones with a shiny sticker or a new toy, patting their backs and telling them bedtime stories until they soundly fall asleep. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that one day, I would be raising up a child of God's, working hand in hand with my Daddy up there to nurture a fighting spirit of a man or woman. And even though I'm not exactly the best child-coaxer and honey-talker in the world, I'm willing to try. And try, and try.
I left with an enriching experience I must say.
Onwards, today, SH and I went swimming after a month of being busy with our own lives and projects. In the midst of all of this he told me that his JC friend Bohan passed away December. One of his blood vessels in his brain burst and he died during his holiday in China.
I was really shocked, cause even though we've only met once or twice, Bohan and I never got off on the right foot and we're always the topic of ridicule when we're talking to SH. Like he'll say something sarcastic about me and I'll rebutt something back though SH. It wasn't on purpose or anything, we were just being cheeky - a little like how aunties like to talk about their nephews and nephew's son's friend without even knowing the person well. So yes, we didn't know one another well - we've met and said his and hellos - but not well. All I knew he played a big part in SH's life. And that mattered to me. Shan Hui would tell me jokes that they shared, and their prank-escapades during their swimming trainings, his irreverent sense of humour, and how they could instantaneously click with one another.
At some point of late I would wonder why SH wouldn't tell me something of such magnitude all the way since last year, but he said he didn't know how to put it across. And I've also been a tad bit busier since Year 2 Poly started, and that minute perception of negligence contributed here and there to result in his tight-lips about the whole issue.
He told me he cried horribly after the first 2 days he got the news, and sometimes he would just travel down to Bohan's church in Upp Serangoon, sit around his tablet for awhile, and return home. SH's never like this. He would never do something like this before, and now he was, and I guess that showed how rattled he was. I told him one day we should go down to see his tablet together. Just to show my support, and really pay my own respects to the brother. Though our relationship was hardly substantial or civil, I know I've nothing against him, and it wouldn't hurt to make it clear.
The future is scary, and amazing at the same time don't you think? We've reached that stage where our friends die, and no longer just hearing about distant mother's friends or auntie-in-laws and people like that passing on. We've reached the stage where we think about our future partners and families and the kinds of houses we would want to live in, the careers we might like to embrace, the roles we have an urge to take up. Bohan was someone who grew up like may of us, hanging out with the same-aged friends, and he spent almost as much time as me on this planet. But now, his existence has came to an end and God has called him back to His arms. Hence, for the rest of this journey on this earth, he'll just remain in our hearts and no longer in tangible form, slowly fading away into the depths of memories that are bound to subside into our minds as we gain with age. In that very abstraction it's already rather endearing.
For all that it's worth, I bet he was a good friend. And ultimately a good soul, who would be deeply missed by his friends... and me - in the way.
Cheers to Ben-Bohan, may you always rest in peace brother.