About The Real Me
Tomorrow's a very crucial day, there's a whole lot of chinese and I'm having a mild headache already. Everything's so chaotic at home, Mum wants to go some restaurant with my Dad's friend and then bro kept screaming.. then I'm using the comp for awhile I get lectured.. it's going to end soon! Let me just finish what I wanted to say for the whole day before I forget again tomorrow.
There have been people asking me why I'm so much different in school and out of it, I'm not trying to squander my pride around here but I guess I want to say it all out once and for all.
School is a place where not anyone shows a 100 percent of his/her true self, it's a place where some parts (or for others all parts) of oneself is covered in shadows, away from all the rest of our friends. It becomes so natural for us to switch into 'school mode' that we don't really ask ourselves why.
I don't know why others automatically do this sub-metamorphosis but I can clarify for myself. Why do I do it? Like many others I can come up with no thorough explanation, but I know one thing it is not.. it's never because of fear, never. I guess I do it as a test of faith, to see if people really accept me as being the harsh character around, the one that spoils a perfectly-sane ambience. Whatever distant friends know about me is usually ficticious; I'm not irritating, I'm not loud and demoralising, and I'm most certainly not some illiterate and ignorant chinaman. I make myself look that way because... in a way is to shun people, I just don't like most people to know how I'm really like... and I know people hardly take time to figure me out, I just find out about myself and my friends by accicidence.
If you've been following my overused blog, you'd realise I tend to talk about sensitive topics and emotional scandals, put my views into the size of a small little URL-address and hope it remains this way - not very much known. I know there are some who drop by here and never leave any signs of their existence, I thank you people for actually taking time to stop and read, maybe just to read something or coincidentally come upon this place with no intentions.
Welps, it's just me here, waving my tiny hand to the sea of people out there.
"Remember to eat your green vegetables!" :)