Going Bonkers
Maybe if I was a little better to my family it'd be better. I realise I've just been a selfish moron to them.. just commanding, then spending money, then talking back to parents. I feel like I owe them too much, too much to even repay. Then it dawns on me that they are there cause God saw significance to them being there for me, he could just easily leave me alone, with no kin. They mean alot to be just there. And I should stop wishing everyone would see my view of the world, and keep my view as - just a view.
Maybe because I'm quite dominating, that's why I keep telling myself I want a really decent and shy girl. I realise I just want to dominate over my spouse, and I scares me... I know I'm scaring myself. So right now, I'm going to change to be more calm, and let people stay above me. Because being dominating is a form of selfishness, no?
So if she is reading this (which is a chance of 10/100), I really wanna ask her if she likes me or not. Cause she looked at me again, and I just skipped a beat. I think I'm going crazy... maybe she was just looking casually, why am I going crazy over some girl who shows no interest? Maybe she wants me to take initiative? Or maybe I'm freaking myself out. Man, whenever I listen to 'I Drive Myself Crazy' by Nsync I'd think of her.. I think I am driving myself crazy, thinking about her... remembering how she spoke, how she laid down on the table and told KPS she's tired.
Crush? Haiz.