Poisoning
My mum's in hospital again. This time, it's dengue fever. According to Marco, there are teo kinds of dengue fever. One where you get rashes, the other is internal bleeding. My mum's got the second one, so it's pretty worry-able.
She has always been weak, and now a heavy discharge of blood and dengue fever, it's come to a stage of dark exile that we can't even find predictable. According to our 'been-there, done-that' Marco, she might get blood in her urine - and it's maroon. I don't know why, but whenever I see loads of blood, or hear alot about flesh, corspes, blood, organs, I'll come into a state of mind where my whole body loses energy and legs begin to wobble. Kinda like when you scratch your nails on a blackboard?
So when her blood test result came back from the clinic and she was diagnosed with dengue, my Dad came back from Indonesia and sent her straight to TTSH. I had to bring her toiletries this morning. Honestly, I've never been to TTSH and I don't know how big the campus is until I had to scoure the place for her ward. It's not easy to find, actually... and you expect the staff to be friendly and heartwarming due to the many, many hospital-based shows that you've seen on how nurses and doctors are kind and smile all the time. But seriously, when I asked for my mum's room from this doctor, she gave me the most 'shit i need to pee' face I've seen and signalled me to her nurse friend. Who wasn't much help either. TV Shows - are for one - all propaganda. Don't watch too much First Touch or E.R.
Maybe when you face too many sick patients, you find life revolving around sickness. I guess many medical students are going in for a big shock.
Well, she's back home now. Luckily for her, she had an early detection. If not it might've been more deadly. Something like what Marco described.
But it was during the course of her admission, that I realise something about my Big Aunt.
After my Grandfather's funeral, she's been very detached from everyone else, I can see her life's changed drastically. Her eyes don't have that joker spark she always had, her nose is always red from tearing. And somehow, she quarrelled more with everyone else. Soon, she stopped going to my grandma's place altogether.
I always thought why do we come to this extent when someone passes away? Death is painful. But without death, maybe we'll never know the value of that person, for a very long time. The chance of family was to feel belonged, to have a base whenever we fall, to have the primary colours before we tried to mix secondary ones. And she left it all because one of her colours went missing.
But when she called to my house one day, and her concerned voice was all over again filled with that old Big Auntie aura. She was on a maximum rebound. She went to the hospital and gave Mum some chicken porridge that she didn't eat anyway. And she was just there. That same person before Grandpa's death. She spoke and laughed about my mum's confusing answers, she advised her to switch to Head and Shoulders, and soon. I can't say how much I felt about her, cause after all, she's a woman. Whatever going through her head is really unpredictable, but I know one thing - she was my mum's elder sister again.
Some things, are better left unspoken. Wounds, take time to heal... they don't speak, they don't need to hear words of encouragement or of counsel. People will jump back up from where they've fallen. And continue walking the path of life, without any need of making noise. You don't have to go to them and give them a million years of counselling, they know what's best for themselves.
Who a person is. Is that person forever. Their bad points change over time. But their good character always stays. Always.
Wow! Crap! This took me like 2 days to write! I just don't have that mental ability to last that long. lol..