Your Name
This week has been all about learning.
Learning about how important friendships are, from confrontations to people who gave disappointment. How things never usually turn out what you want.. situations, consequences, and problems have so much ups and downs, it makes you realise how life can be so radical in such a short period of time. Friends are just so important, you think they are always there for you, always there to make you happier, but it isn't. It's a two-way thing: you give a little, they give a little. We're trying to serve each other, not to turn our backs when a problem occurs. That's how true friends are. And It's comforting you know you have genuine people to back you up.
I've learnt about stuff about myself. About the expectations I give myself, and how to try giving it all up instead of trying to fufill it. I've been making this huge big plan for myself - how to respond to different people, how to react to different replies, how to pretend I'm interested in everything everyone says. But in the end, who am I trying to bluff? I know there's not going to be any of my real self in it. I'll be living in a the shadow of myself. It'll be so freaking fake that I'll just heave a sigh one day and let my world collaspe. So yea, from now on.. I'm gonna try as hard as I can to be normal. Take it or leave it. I can't please everyone.
Learning to be humble to God. I've been thinking that woah, now I'm in design school and stuff, it means I have the advantage of trying to pack God somewhere in the week. That's really wrong. How everything He did - how every person I made angry with me, I was angry with, and how I was angry with myself - it all just showed me how BIIIIGGG He is. You know? He can just change your life in an instance. Take away all the happiness and give you a jab of reality. And I always thought nothing would ever happen to me. Now that it has, it just makes you stop and ponder and reshuffle.
Like maybe one day, the sun would suddenly shine much brighter, then everyone would suddenly notice it's presence in their lives again, instead of neglecting it. You know when something has been there all the time in your life, you get an oh-it's-always-gonna-be-there-so i-shouldn't-care-much kind of attitude? Yea, when it shines brighter people would start to realise it's presence, it's neccesity in life, and how beautiful and majestic this sun had always been, except they never took time to ponder about it. Appreciate it, and fall in love with it once over. Like how we used to adore it when we were still young and innocent, when our little minds were still unaware of the outside world yet. That's how I felt with God this week.
Like how Liane said, it feels like as if we've aged a decade in a week.
Things change so fast, it just makes you jerk up and say, "woah, life can sometimes really expect alot more from me," and it's like a wake-up call. That you can do much better, learn much faster, and be much closer to God. If only you are willing.
Yesterday during service: Have we totally surrendered our lives to God? Or are we just recruiting Him to help us in our own plans?
Food for thought.
ciao.