Over and Over Evergreen Terrace.
My computer is really dirty. I think I'll just give it a good rub one of these days.
My mum just said something out that she shouldn't have said cause I feel a little disgusted right now. She was telling my brother that he was ...'made' .. on our trip to Hong Kong when I was really young and naive and when my brother still didn't exist. Which makes me ponder cause I was in the SAME HOTEL ROOM as they were in during that trip. Oh crap.. I shouldn't carry on thinking.
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And these nights I feel like just going out to the fields and lying down and just stare at the haze-covered sky. And try to remember how everything came down to this. How a million different reactions-actions caused my existence. Anyone of those circumstances could've gone awfully wrong and I wouldn't be here -right here, right now typing. I know, I know - it's the ultimate question of What On Earth Am I Here For. And I've been over this time and time again. But it's really a question of faith, and how much do we believe in the intangible. If there wasn't for the human nature of looking deeper into the unknown and into the larger-than-life spectrums, we would all just lay back on our chairs and only believe in stuff scientists say.
I feel like just sitting by the river at 4 am and talk to somebody about our lives, our ambitions, our fears, and how we all came to this point of time. Just stuff we won't say to anyone in our ordinary day-lives. And we could skip stones by the water like how Marco and I use to do. And sing out loud songs that matter and don't matter.
Haha.. dreams.
Love is funny. A few weeks ago I thought love couldn't be love until you really know a person, and really care so much for the person you have the right to say "I love you" and you know you deserve the right to say it. But God showed me otherwise. Now I know something - love is vast and pure. It's a endless stream of energy that pulses in all of us, connects all of us, in one huge entwining web. Like neural pathways yea? When at the most basic of all emotions there is love, and yet at the most complex of it there's also love. Like how when two people are trapped under tumbling rubble, they hold hands, for support, and for love.