"Wooosh, woosh,"
It suddenly dawns on me he's gone.
I remember when some stuff happened at home when I was P5, and I had to stay at my grandma's for a few weeks, he would wake me up at 5. In the cold dark night he would make a cup of warm milk for me, and then we'll saddle onto his old old bicycle and ride all the way from toa payoh to potong pasir to bring me to school. I would sit behind him in that small backseat and hum hymns I learnt from school.
I remember how he use to grab me by the feet and hoist me up in the air and make me fly like an aeroplane. And he would make 'swooshing' sounds and I would laugh madly.
I remember sitting in his SBS bus once. And he allowed me to sit at the old plastic box opposite the driver's seat. And he'll talk and laugh everytime I say something stupid. And all the passengers will be staring at us, but we wouldn't care and we didn't mind.
I remember how he came over my house some mornings on that old bicycle, and he would buy breakfast for us before we even wake up. And I would invite him upstairs and he'll take his handy dandy plastic-mould to patch our cracking kitchen ceilings.
I miss my grandpa.
And that afternoon, when I saw him in his coffin, lying alseep. I just choked with so much tears. I wouldn't stop crying. And I touched his cold pale face and wished it didn't have to be this way. I wished for the world he wasn't gone, so that I could speak to him and talk and laugh like how we used to. Before I became an angry teenager and how my change made us silent to each other.
For the first time since that day, I finally mourn for him. How insensitive I've become. To only realise it now how much he means to me.
Goodbye grandpa. Thank you for a love I will never forget.